Day 4:
woke up at 8am...
met with 3 clients..
picked up new business... lots of new business
Ate:
Crab Eggs Benedict, potatos and fruit... courtesy Milo's City Cafe Thanks B!
Coffee
Orange juice
Lots of water
vegatable tempura
ice cream sandwich
Ok so I may not have eaten the healthiest today but I didn't eat that much as you can see...and everything I ate was delicious!
Workout Early: Weights: Legs/Cleaning House
Workout Late: Ran 2.8 miles burned 300 calories Level 5 resistance
Stretched for 15 minutes
Alcohol: 1.5 glass of wine
Dates: 0 but lots of flirting...
Today was awesome... happy, good, fun, productive, exciting and great. I am SO EXCITED.... MY GOOD FRIEND HILARY GAVE ME A WHOLE NEW WARDROBE of like 5 button down shirts and 3 sweaters...SHE IS AMZING! I love ge3tting new clothes even if they are hand me downs! They are in great condition and they are free and I only have $60 to my name. So I feel REALLLY gooD...
Oh and I had my first day of having it be hard to go to the gym. I almost wanted to take a day off but I plowed through.
Oh and that thing I was upset about yesterday, I woke up thinking... "what the fuck was I even worried about? fuck him. fuck being upset about anything, I have the whole world at my finger tips. If someone sucks at communication, than that is their issue not mine. I do however feel good focusing even farther on myself and not even "pretending" to move backwards, which is what I was doing with him... pretending.
Sometimes I am prone to instant gratification and he was definitely that. Never had any intentions of getting back together with him, but was enjoying his company for the moment and it kind of turned on me when i least expected it... Meaning, I was getting comfortable with him being a big part of my life, even though it was different from before. I was starting to love seeing him many times a week, and when he took it away, I was kind of surprised, shocked, and hurt since it doesn't make sense for me to fix something that isn't broken. But I guess it was broken. Maybe I was hurting him, maybe I was being hurt by him... who knows? I don't really care now. Obviously I don't care if I am sad about something for a day and then I am over it.
The best way I can describe it, is that I really really really wanted to have a heart-to-heart with him, and i was determined to tell him some things that I really felt like I needed to get off my chest, and when he didn't want to see me, I kind of impulsively sought him out, trying to get him to meet with me for even an hour so I could tell him everything that was getting so pent up, and he wouldn't listen... I couldn't say the things I needed to say over the phone, so instead of telling him my true thoughts, i just had it all pent up.
he totally doesn't get it. I don't want to pre-occupy his time. While he was away, I had this epiphany about him and I couldn't wait to see him to tell him... these were wonderfully exciting, intersting, and fun revelations I had about him and about our situation, and he came home from his trip and wouldn't see me. So I had it all boiling... and then the whole fucking thing blew up in my face. I guess he'll never know now what I had so deseperately wanted to say... It's sad, it would have been a beautiful moment that hopefully would have made us good friends forever, now it's past and i don't care if I ever see him again. I know I will. I know we'll be friends, but if I don't, he'll just be a good fleeting memory like the rest.
woke up at 8am...
met with 3 clients..
picked up new business... lots of new business
Ate:
Crab Eggs Benedict, potatos and fruit... courtesy Milo's City Cafe Thanks B!
Coffee
Orange juice
Lots of water
vegatable tempura
ice cream sandwich
Ok so I may not have eaten the healthiest today but I didn't eat that much as you can see...and everything I ate was delicious!
Workout Early: Weights: Legs/Cleaning House
Workout Late: Ran 2.8 miles burned 300 calories Level 5 resistance
Stretched for 15 minutes
Alcohol: 1.5 glass of wine
Dates: 0 but lots of flirting...
Today was awesome... happy, good, fun, productive, exciting and great. I am SO EXCITED.... MY GOOD FRIEND HILARY GAVE ME A WHOLE NEW WARDROBE of like 5 button down shirts and 3 sweaters...SHE IS AMZING! I love ge3tting new clothes even if they are hand me downs! They are in great condition and they are free and I only have $60 to my name. So I feel REALLLY gooD...
Oh and I had my first day of having it be hard to go to the gym. I almost wanted to take a day off but I plowed through.
Oh and that thing I was upset about yesterday, I woke up thinking... "what the fuck was I even worried about? fuck him. fuck being upset about anything, I have the whole world at my finger tips. If someone sucks at communication, than that is their issue not mine. I do however feel good focusing even farther on myself and not even "pretending" to move backwards, which is what I was doing with him... pretending.
Sometimes I am prone to instant gratification and he was definitely that. Never had any intentions of getting back together with him, but was enjoying his company for the moment and it kind of turned on me when i least expected it... Meaning, I was getting comfortable with him being a big part of my life, even though it was different from before. I was starting to love seeing him many times a week, and when he took it away, I was kind of surprised, shocked, and hurt since it doesn't make sense for me to fix something that isn't broken. But I guess it was broken. Maybe I was hurting him, maybe I was being hurt by him... who knows? I don't really care now. Obviously I don't care if I am sad about something for a day and then I am over it.
The best way I can describe it, is that I really really really wanted to have a heart-to-heart with him, and i was determined to tell him some things that I really felt like I needed to get off my chest, and when he didn't want to see me, I kind of impulsively sought him out, trying to get him to meet with me for even an hour so I could tell him everything that was getting so pent up, and he wouldn't listen... I couldn't say the things I needed to say over the phone, so instead of telling him my true thoughts, i just had it all pent up.
he totally doesn't get it. I don't want to pre-occupy his time. While he was away, I had this epiphany about him and I couldn't wait to see him to tell him... these were wonderfully exciting, intersting, and fun revelations I had about him and about our situation, and he came home from his trip and wouldn't see me. So I had it all boiling... and then the whole fucking thing blew up in my face. I guess he'll never know now what I had so deseperately wanted to say... It's sad, it would have been a beautiful moment that hopefully would have made us good friends forever, now it's past and i don't care if I ever see him again. I know I will. I know we'll be friends, but if I don't, he'll just be a good fleeting memory like the rest.
legman:
ice cream sandwich 