violenttortoise's SuicideGirls Blog

I can almost feel your disinterest in the trifling details of what I named after three hours of intense deliberation me. So Ill cut out the small talk to head straight to another waste of web-space on the information super galaxy cyber express highway.

http://arsamatoria.tabletsofdestiny.com/

Lets talk about me, ladies. Now, when I read about Mighty Morphin Power Rangers romance, I think "I can almost...
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VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS

stina:

i refuse to be tricked into clicking on your links anymore.

Sep 5, 2003

pihka:

Hee hee...not ALL Finnish expressions are compressed in one word only...although generally Finnish does take less space, word-wise, than English.

Sep 5, 2003

Welcome to college, Joshua. Now... prepare for your doooooooom!

My new teachers have the same amount of mercy as a Japanese interment camp.... WHICH IS AN IRONIC METAPHOR TO USE BECUZ THAT'S WHAT WE"rE STUDGYING!. It's the second week and I already feel like my threshold for pain/homework has been... well... thresholdeded. Yesterday was one long torture session with brief bathroom breaks and doublemint gum...
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These pancakes tastes like love...

Fine.. fine.. I'll tell you all about myself.. once I get in the mood.. which should be sometimes after I find some pants.
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http://www.unicornsunited.com/unicorn/starwars/INDEX.HTML

Heh... you know what? It'd be simply too easy to derive a new form of mockery from this website. Bottom line; I love the creator of this website, and when I say love, I mean...
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VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS

rxqueen:

dear sir or madam,
i take it from the lack of information about yourself, that you still have not found pants. In which case, you should come over...
oh goodness, i crack myself up

So. Yeah with yr obscure local band rant, you make me feel really dyslexic when i read except as expect which is what im guessing its ment to be. but then again im stipud so what do i know?

MY MOM IS MAKING ME EAT RED MEAT TODAY
*quivers, then dies*

Sep 3, 2003

caz:

that site scares me, but i cant say why?

Sep 3, 2003

Your pants belong to ME!

VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS

rose:

Thanks if it were not for you, I wouldn't know what those other girls were talking about all the time. *sick feeling*
Ok funny guy what would you shove up your vagina?
I feel like wrapping mine over your head hahaha
Rose

Sep 2, 2003

stina:

ha.. your post is out of controle. I think im with zoe on this.. I feel like i should be like PLEASE please tell me about yourself. yes yes yes

ha..
Ok ..so i clicked your little link. I was distressed. I mean.. HAve you ever read Chuck P. books? Like fight club? It reminded me of parts of "Choke". Anyway.. when I was like.. um 15 I was listening to my moms conversations.. and she was talking to her cousin who works at an emergency room and they were talking about how everynight they have to pull something out of a vag or a butt. I guess frozen hotdogs were really popular.. and carrots, bottles.. and mostpopular was the hairbrush. Later I was reading statistics that said that the most popular thing for women to use was hairbrush handles.. because of thier shape. ha.. In highschool there was a girl who used to brag about Arizona Iced tea bottles.. ha. Anyway.. thats just something to think about.

Sep 2, 2003

http://www.lesbogoodness.

"Ever see two girls who you think would make GREAT lesbians? Then come here to vote which of these hot girls would make the best lesbian couple!

Ahem... on behalf of men everywhere... I would like to say the following:

IT'S NOT MY FAULT, BUT I AM SO, SO SORRY!

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Hey kids! Watch me be a filthy hooker and put myself on my...
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VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS

rxqueen:

haha yr so weird.
i heart you

and thanks for...
being here...from there.
i appreciate/adore you kiddo.

xo

Sep 1, 2003

rose:

your fucking funny
hurray for bastards!

Sep 1, 2003

Pork4Kids!

Good Christ, a talking pig endorsing children to stuff its rotting cooked innards into their mouths. What educational message does the batshit insane swine truly send?

"Hey kids, I enjoy bathing in my own waste! I've got more parasites than a public urinal! Farmers use sharp, unclean, rusty tools to rip out my spine! I'm born and raised in captivity simply to end up...
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VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS

rxqueen:

make that 5 out of 7

Aug 30, 2003

pihka:

...so I was right and youve got a thing for consonants indeed.

Id give you some hopeless words to get all thrilled over right now, but I must RUSH *wooooooooooom*, Ill return to this later.

Aug 30, 2003

I feel out of place...

I don't know where I belong.

Damn, I've been looking for a long time too....I just have the social skills of a rabid badger.

SNERRAAARHGGHFTHGHBLARHG!

VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS

monica:

hahaha!!! omg! that sounds like so much fun! your snotty tee shirt

Aug 28, 2003

tiamat:

i have the social skills of a hamster on crack. it works for me though. people just feel sorry for me and then i get away with alot more.

Aug 29, 2003

Would you be impressed if I told you that I can play the 1812 Overture on a touchtone phone with my tongue?

Pssst... just between you and me... that was one of those sexual innuendo things.

VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS

bryn:

no no
my dreams have plenty o' wang
its just forceful but-i-dont-wanna-please-stoppit wang

i used to be able to unwrap a starburst using only my tongue.

Aug 26, 2003