violentlyhappy

i'm on this amazing new diet entitled "i'm too broke to buy groceries". it consists mainly of brita-filtered water and an old jar of pickles, plus various other condiments. it really works wonders, you should try it.

MOVE OVER AITKINS!!

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ok, let me explain the contents of this diet exactly. first you have your "champagne" in the upper left. v8 and brita-filter h20 at the bottom. soy sauce, taco bell HOT packets, country crock butta, top of the door. salsa, ketchup, and more salsa. then chocolate-malt sauce, ranch dressing, and clausen mini-dill pickles to top it all off. oh and don't forget the expired eggs on the counter or the ass-ends of wheat bread waiting to be tossed.