violentlydave

The above pic probably is too large for the form factor.. but I need to dump more pics to load fresh ones for posts. Again, I follow the rule. Post, you post picture!


The fun continues.

Perhaps I should explain. A few weeks ago, a number of variables combined in my life to produce.. be fully not caring. And I don't mean to make it sound negative, as that does.. I mean I'd gotten to the point where I cared about 10% what people thought of me in life. Now I care 0%.

Don't get me wrong, I'm still the same person, I'm polite, I try to be pleasant, I have fun, I do my job well in pro-fresh-ional settings. But the part of anybody that says "oh, I'm scared they may not like me if i do XYZ".. that part of me has, I think.. finally left me 100%.

I've always said, with life.. you have two options. You can laugh at it, or cry. I'm 100% in laugh mode.

I have a few folks at work who're sure I've taken up a recent drug habit due to my semi-sudden shift in attitude.. I haven't. I'm just enjoying the shit outta everything lately.

Has anything really changed? No. Personal life? I still have the same friends. I'm still single (though I'll admit, I have someone in the sights for fixing that). Arty shit? I've done some stuff, I think I'll be active in at least one show this year (big deal). I've shown up at a slide show and was a sarcastic ass.. and somehow.. they all loved it.

Perhaps the whole "not caring" thing is really what I've always been told is that ever-attractive "confidence" shit?

I've started blowing off weekend events that I feel "I should go to", and what do I do? I stay home, have a few drinks, put on the iPOD, blast out music, and clean. My house is approaching presentable finally.

Let me try to give another example of me fully having fun in life. Without getting into exacts (as I'd prefer not), at work... I had something that needed to be done by another group. That other group said "we just found out about this, we can't do this for 2 weeks". This was something that'd blow up and be a big stink... so I ended up bringing a bunch of folks into an office and explaining "I have written proof you guys were in on these meetings a month ago and knew this was coming, so fuck this we-didn't-know shit". They caved.

The fun part?

I didn't know until someone pointed it out at happy hour later that night.

I apparantly fucked a bunch of people way higher on the chain (management wise, not in my direct management chain, but higher in the chain than me)... while doing the robot. I didn't notice I was doing it. I shit you not.

A good friend who's in my group came in to back me up, and started doing it too. So there were two young guys from another group fucking the management of another group.. while doing the robot.

I have no clue what the fuck it means, I have no clue why the fuck I post this shit here.. but I figure occasionally someone stumbles on this shit, and I've got something vaguely entertaining to speak out.. so here it is.

I might actually be free finally?


Life's too much fucking fun. I for-see the house getting in order. I view getting back into a band. I see being happily in love. Perhaps there's a tumor in my skull pushing my head in different directions.... but whatever, I like it.

I just hope anyone reading this can find the same feeling.

life's too much fun to not enjoy it.