Friday May 06, 2005

0
So I took a bunch of pills yesterday so I could sleep and try to forget about everything. I ended up sleeping from 2 pm or so until about now. I haven't forgotten shit. I woke up crying a bunch of times last night and I'm still crying now.

I broke down and wrote the fucker an email asking him why, and telling him we really need to talk, and I haven't heard back from him. I want to call him, but I know he won't talk to me. He's a horrible person and I don't know why I want him back, why I've put up with such shit for so long, after the things he's done to me. What the fuck is wrong me? Why do I want him back? Why do I love him? I can sit here and remember everything that is shitty that he's done to me and I still want him to call me, at least to talk. I'm fucking pathetic.

I wish I could stop thinking and crying. I wish I could just feel ok again.

My heart fucking hurts so bad right now.



VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
prettyb0y:
That's not pathetic, that's honest. Some people aren't brave enough to admit all that to themselves. I doubt he's that strong. The anniversery will pass, and so will this feeling. kiss smile
korbendallas:
You have to be strong, right now it hurts so much cause something is missing. He took something from you, and you want that back. Believe it or not, it's not him you want back. It's really difficult to explain. Right now you are in a very vunerable position, and he could easily take advantage of the fact.
If you need to talk to someone, let me know.
KorbenDallas87 AOL screen name
KorbenDallas_KD yahoo one.
They are always on...

More Blogs