Not in jail. Yet.
March 14th is the do or die hearing. I have 2 weeks to get my doctors to explain to the Ontario County Courts why I do not need to go to jail. Unless everyone thinks I belong there, then that's another story. I've had about 10 people tell me I'm "out there" or "crazy" or "nuts" in the past week, so that's promising.
So suffice to say, I spent all morning in tears again, called Nick but he wasn't home, which upset me more because I really need a damn hug and some reassurance so I stop panicking, and now I am home after driving what feels like 80 billion miles. I do not want to go anywhere or do anything today. Everytime I have to go in for this bullshit I am reminded of the fact of what an asshole I am and all the bullshit I went through 6 months ago. It fucking tears me up everytime. I feel like I am being tortured. And yeah, I probably shouldn't let shit get to me, but I can't help it. I feel fucking awful about what happened to this day, and I have to live with that for the rest of my life. It drains me and makes me sick when I think about it.
Because of this and my, ahem, obviously WONDERFUL coping skills, all I am going to do is study. This means everything and everyone else can kiss my ass unless they have a hug and/or a backrub or cuddle session for me. Then we can talk.
I want someone to love me right now. I feel like shit.
RFAM: I'm pathetic. The end.
P.S. @ 4:00 pm- I took a long bath and studied and ate some food and now I feel better.
P.P.S. @ 6:17 pm- Hey Garbage, my best friend Mike D is in town this week, so you have to hang out and meet him, you guys will get along so well it's sick. You're like the same person or something.
Alright I'm out again. Someone tell my dude to call me and come over and give me the ol in out in out.
March 14th is the do or die hearing. I have 2 weeks to get my doctors to explain to the Ontario County Courts why I do not need to go to jail. Unless everyone thinks I belong there, then that's another story. I've had about 10 people tell me I'm "out there" or "crazy" or "nuts" in the past week, so that's promising.
So suffice to say, I spent all morning in tears again, called Nick but he wasn't home, which upset me more because I really need a damn hug and some reassurance so I stop panicking, and now I am home after driving what feels like 80 billion miles. I do not want to go anywhere or do anything today. Everytime I have to go in for this bullshit I am reminded of the fact of what an asshole I am and all the bullshit I went through 6 months ago. It fucking tears me up everytime. I feel like I am being tortured. And yeah, I probably shouldn't let shit get to me, but I can't help it. I feel fucking awful about what happened to this day, and I have to live with that for the rest of my life. It drains me and makes me sick when I think about it.
Because of this and my, ahem, obviously WONDERFUL coping skills, all I am going to do is study. This means everything and everyone else can kiss my ass unless they have a hug and/or a backrub or cuddle session for me. Then we can talk.
I want someone to love me right now. I feel like shit.
RFAM: I'm pathetic. The end.
P.S. @ 4:00 pm- I took a long bath and studied and ate some food and now I feel better.
P.P.S. @ 6:17 pm- Hey Garbage, my best friend Mike D is in town this week, so you have to hang out and meet him, you guys will get along so well it's sick. You're like the same person or something.
Alright I'm out again. Someone tell my dude to call me and come over and give me the ol in out in out.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
jennrose:
yeah it really is a great game. that's why i want my friend to hurry up and beat it so i can see the ending! lol
garbage19:
Im down to kick it this week, then it'll be like three of the same people hanging out, i was barely able to get used to one other person like me. i have fatal frame 1 and 2 if you want to borrow them for your boyfriend. you know the drill, i work until 8 everyday, but give me a call or send me a message and let me know where to be at what time.