people, i'm fucking drunk. get into it. like i have been drinking for days and days and days now. if today wasn't my actual forreally real first day off in like months, i would have no idea what day it was except another day that i am shitty in the am and whoop de doo what a surprise that is, you know? like i have a total drinking problem and the only reason it's a problem is because i don't have a problem with it.
so last night we went to one of my favorite bars, the yard, short for the scotland yard and holy fuck there is a posse of midgets that hang out there. i love the midgets there, because a) they do porn, b) they are shitheads, and c) they like to eye rape my sister when she comes with me, and i am an asshole. so yes, to the m-posse at the yard, i fucking salute you.
another thing i like about the yard is that they play punkrock and only serve beer and sake. this allowed me to drink 5 bottles of sake for $25. because for all you math whizkids out there, they are $5 a bottle. i tipped the bartender a shitton more than that because i love him and want him to have my children and sell them on ebay, but hey, you cannot beat cheap sake. what you CAN beat, is the $8 bottle of COLD sake they sell that tastes like rotten hooker vagina. like seriously folks, wtf. like i want to get drunk but if i want to do it the shitty way, and i don't mean shitty like hey lets get steel reserves and drink on my driveway til the neighbors call the cops, i mean lets drink shitty hooker vagina sake, i can at least go get sushi while i am doing it. not midgets. midgets and hooker vagina sake is too much in one night for even me to handle. and i can handle a lot, much like your mother can handle the cock.
so, in conclusion, what have we learned today? don't go to the yard for cold sake, midgets are awesome, your mom sucks a lot of dong, and i am rad. get the fuck into it people. the end.
ps. hey look, a puppy.
so last night we went to one of my favorite bars, the yard, short for the scotland yard and holy fuck there is a posse of midgets that hang out there. i love the midgets there, because a) they do porn, b) they are shitheads, and c) they like to eye rape my sister when she comes with me, and i am an asshole. so yes, to the m-posse at the yard, i fucking salute you.
another thing i like about the yard is that they play punkrock and only serve beer and sake. this allowed me to drink 5 bottles of sake for $25. because for all you math whizkids out there, they are $5 a bottle. i tipped the bartender a shitton more than that because i love him and want him to have my children and sell them on ebay, but hey, you cannot beat cheap sake. what you CAN beat, is the $8 bottle of COLD sake they sell that tastes like rotten hooker vagina. like seriously folks, wtf. like i want to get drunk but if i want to do it the shitty way, and i don't mean shitty like hey lets get steel reserves and drink on my driveway til the neighbors call the cops, i mean lets drink shitty hooker vagina sake, i can at least go get sushi while i am doing it. not midgets. midgets and hooker vagina sake is too much in one night for even me to handle. and i can handle a lot, much like your mother can handle the cock.
so, in conclusion, what have we learned today? don't go to the yard for cold sake, midgets are awesome, your mom sucks a lot of dong, and i am rad. get the fuck into it people. the end.
ps. hey look, a puppy.
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Sake and Midgets....
Sounds quite entertaining!!
I will get the Psychic's info this weekend for you.