More dreams about Nick. And that my stuffed animals came to life and tried to kill me. I woke up and rolled over to tell him not to go into the den, but he wasn't there obviously.
Today I am going to try to go to the gym, then go to the Getty, Melrose, and Santa Monica with Karla. I have new purple stiletto heels...
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Today I am going to try to go to the gym, then go to the Getty, Melrose, and Santa Monica with Karla. I have new purple stiletto heels...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
conqueringking:
You should leave them at the local gym or something. I find a lot of people dont work out because they don't know how. I'll send all of the postive I can spare your way.
user304975207:
Ill keep you in my thoughts. Hope you get through this quickly *hugs*
i now own pants that fit my ass. and i treated myself to frankie b.'s (but they were half off so i don't feel so bad)
i also am now the proud owner of some of the d'bohemia mac line. who cares if i never pay my credit card off? i sure don't. debt is a fact of life.
i'm thinking about getting acrylics and...
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i also am now the proud owner of some of the d'bohemia mac line. who cares if i never pay my credit card off? i sure don't. debt is a fact of life.
i'm thinking about getting acrylics and...
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carryavengeance:
i'm doing good, but i wish you were doing better...we don't like sad journal entries
you'll make it through this...i know you are strong enough to get over him...it's just gonna take some time...it always helps me to get more angry than sad (like gets pissed at him for the shit he's done to you...everything about him that pisses you off bring it out) THEN GO SMASH SOMETHING HUGE! car junkyards are really nice if you own a hammer
but dont forget at least a pair of glasses to protect your eyes
you'll make it through this...i know you are strong enough to get over him...it's just gonna take some time...it always helps me to get more angry than sad (like gets pissed at him for the shit he's done to you...everything about him that pisses you off bring it out) THEN GO SMASH SOMETHING HUGE! car junkyards are really nice if you own a hammer
I keep having dreams about him, that we get back together. Then I wake up and can't wait to talk to him only to realize that he still won't speak to me.
Update- I called his phone just to hear his voice (yes I am pathetic) and he was actually home. We spoke for a bit and he agreed to unblock me from AIM. So...
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Update- I called his phone just to hear his voice (yes I am pathetic) and he was actually home. We spoke for a bit and he agreed to unblock me from AIM. So...
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razorchild:
I don't know what to say. I was going to post in my journal how I've finally fought my way out of a depressive slump, but I stopped by here first...
I'm sorry about Nick. I hope that you heal quickly. Not too much else to say, really. Drop me an email if you'd like. We could go munch on some wholesome Hometown Buffet or Denny's or someplace similarly unhealthy.
- RC
I'm sorry about Nick. I hope that you heal quickly. Not too much else to say, really. Drop me an email if you'd like. We could go munch on some wholesome Hometown Buffet or Denny's or someplace similarly unhealthy.
- RC
Goddamnit. Crying again. Fucker has blocked both my screen names. Not that I have anything to say to him right now except the obvious- that I miss him and want us to work shit out, and he doesn't want to hear it. But it hurts that he hates me that much that he would completely block me.
I wish it had never come to this.
I wish it had never come to this.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
vim:
chin up.
\\m/
\\m/
broadwaybee:
Let sleeping dogs lie, sugar. There are an asston of hot men out there that'll make you forget that prick even existed.
Glory holes galore. Yes, we went to the Motherlode. And the Abbey. And Here. And Rage.
So me and Karla went out to Weho last night to celebrate "happy no more shitty bf day" as she broke up with her assclown too.
Wish I could say I had a better time, but I met a very nice gay guy named Shakeel and we danced like...
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So me and Karla went out to Weho last night to celebrate "happy no more shitty bf day" as she broke up with her assclown too.
Wish I could say I had a better time, but I met a very nice gay guy named Shakeel and we danced like...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
doll_:
i second that...
see? you are amzing.. even while snarfing on chilli fries.... which, i believe is truly impossible to look hot doing, unless you are johnny depp, or mary....
see? you are amzing.. even while snarfing on chilli fries.... which, i believe is truly impossible to look hot doing, unless you are johnny depp, or mary....
disynthetic:
i wish i could look hot eating.
as it stands now, i only look hot when.. my ac isn't working.
as it stands now, i only look hot when.. my ac isn't working.
Glory holes galore. Yes, we went to the Motherlode. And the Abbey. And Here. And Rage.
So me and Karla went out to Weho last night to celebrate "happy no more shitty bf day" as she broke up with her assclown too.
Wish I could say I had a better time, but I met a very nice gay guy named Shakeel and we danced like...
Read More
So me and Karla went out to Weho last night to celebrate "happy no more shitty bf day" as she broke up with her assclown too.
Wish I could say I had a better time, but I met a very nice gay guy named Shakeel and we danced like...
Read More
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
garbage19:
im glad that ive officially made the drunk-dialing list.
user304975207:
You say Assclown too?!!? Thats what I call my ex. Neato.
I went to a psychic. Everything is going to be ok.
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b1ll:
So...WTF did the psychic say????
disynthetic:
I can sense your cynical disappointment in the revelation from the psychic.
Of course everything is going to be okay. Okay is a level below 'good' or 'great' that indicates things are acceptable. Not very promising and not very specific.
All pleasantries aside, I hope you're not beating yourself up. You don't deserve that.
Hasta.
Of course everything is going to be okay. Okay is a level below 'good' or 'great' that indicates things are acceptable. Not very promising and not very specific.
All pleasantries aside, I hope you're not beating yourself up. You don't deserve that.
Hasta.
This is the letter I want to send to Nick in like a week or two if I have not heard from him:
All of our problems stem from booze. I think you will
realize this once you look back at the last few
months. Things had been great until we got drunk.
Everytime we've been drunk we have stupid
misunderstandings and neither of us...
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All of our problems stem from booze. I think you will
realize this once you look back at the last few
months. Things had been great until we got drunk.
Everytime we've been drunk we have stupid
misunderstandings and neither of us...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
garbage19:
it wasnt your fault. you should send all of that letter except the part not about the dogs.
prettyb0y:
Take it from me; 9 times out of 10, nice guys finish last.
It's very frustrating, but not something for which you should apologize.
Things WILL turn out for the best.
Things WILL turn out for the best.
Friend flaked on me last night for her bf. Took more sleeping pills around 6, just woke up again. Horrible dreams about everything.
I miss him so fucking much and he just doesn't care. I wish he did, I wish he cared how much he was hurting me. I have not been able to stop crying since. I feel so sick and awful, I don't...
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I miss him so fucking much and he just doesn't care. I wish he did, I wish he cared how much he was hurting me. I have not been able to stop crying since. I feel so sick and awful, I don't...
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carryavengeance:
so fill the part of your brain that's full of him with something else...like puppies & rainbows & happy things like that


disynthetic:
I hate comforting pretty girls who are coping with difficult trauma. And cuddling. Hate that shit.
Facetious.

Facetious.
So I took a bunch of pills yesterday so I could sleep and try to forget about everything. I ended up sleeping from 2 pm or so until about now. I haven't forgotten shit. I woke up crying a bunch of times last night and I'm still crying now.
I broke down and wrote the fucker an email asking him why, and telling him we...
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I broke down and wrote the fucker an email asking him why, and telling him we...
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VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
prettyb0y:
That's not pathetic, that's honest. Some people aren't brave enough to admit all that to themselves. I doubt he's that strong. The anniversery will pass, and so will this feeling.
korbendallas:
You have to be strong, right now it hurts so much cause something is missing. He took something from you, and you want that back. Believe it or not, it's not him you want back. It's really difficult to explain. Right now you are in a very vunerable position, and he could easily take advantage of the fact.
If you need to talk to someone, let me know.
KorbenDallas87 AOL screen name
KorbenDallas_KD yahoo one.
They are always on...
If you need to talk to someone, let me know.
KorbenDallas87 AOL screen name
KorbenDallas_KD yahoo one.
They are always on...
I guess I'm flying solo now. Next Saturday it would've been a year.
I'll be throwing up and crying in the bathroom if anyone needs me.
I'll be throwing up and crying in the bathroom if anyone needs me.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
timtoxic:
Get him all out of your system and you shall feel better.
disynthetic:
I'm sorry I didn't talk to you more when you were happy D:
Hope your heart heals.
Hope your heart heals.
I am back from Corona, having saved the dog, saved Nick from going insane, and 'saved' myself from getting cock this morning while showering with Nick because I had soap in my eyes and then commenced sneezing for like 12 years.
Good job allergy girl!! Oh well, there is next weekend. Woo!
Pat worked on my arm again and I have to say I am...
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Pat worked on my arm again and I have to say I am...
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VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
garbage19:
dude i was at coachella all weekend and didnt shit from friday morning until this morning at 4am. it was impressive. like a dragon coming out of his underwater cave looking up into the sky.
suzy_kabloozy:
Ha! That is funny ... you fat!
I need to lose 15 pounds, too ... or to look like you, about ... well, nevermind, I'll never look like you!
I wish I had your energy.