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violencejack

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Member Since 2003

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Sunday May 23, 2004

May 23, 2004
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Another lovely weekend at work. We stabbed each other with needles and pumped water into our veins.

I created a CD a few months ago. I was trying to express a love I felt, something precious and beautiful that I believed in.
It didn't work out, but the CD remains. It contains songs that matter to me. These songs may never matter to anyone but me. What I feel, I alone feel.
Does that change in a relationship? Do two people feel the same way about things? Or, is that not the quintessential relationship complaint, that one person cares and the other does not? It seems like we humans are always fighting to not be alone, to be "understood".
That CD reminds me of the futility of existence. We want so much and get so little. What we get often has little or nothing to do with what we want, yet we make do. We have so much that we overlook. They took away our hair and gave us bigger brains, but we are still monkies.
That CD also reminds me of a hope. I have a dream. It is so easy to despair when one recognizes the absurdity of existence. Life is suffering, after all. Still, we carry on even in the face of glaring impossibility. Hope makes us do really silly things. We chase dreams, however impossible.
Is it possible to know someone so well that words need hardly be exchanged? Is it possible to for two people to share values to the extent that they truly understand each other? Will anyone ever know the depths of my heart the way I do?
LOL. I guess someone who saw the world the way I do might well have already killed herself, making it very very hard for us to meet and fall in love. tongue biggrin
I think when I go to WSU I will have to check the psych and philosophy dept.s for hot goth or emo chicks. love

At least recognizing the insanity of it all allows me to laugh at it and myself.


Am I too serious? Does thinkign deep thought detract from the time I could be learning jokes and funnies? Would making chicks laugh get me laid more?
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
samanthakayne:
well - i'd heard them millions of times - but never really 'listened' to that song before...
May 25, 2004
garnet:
checked my email - going to read now. I was waiting for the nauseous vertigo from earlier to go away. Guess I'm at the beginning of the cold/flu and not the end. puke
May 25, 2004

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