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violencejack

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Member Since 2003

Followers 10 Following 7

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Wednesday Jan 07, 2004

Jan 7, 2004
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It's hard to be a knight in shining armor when you can see every scratch and dent and speck of rust, and you know the darkness that shares space with the light. Sometimes I think I am also the only one who can see the shiny spots. People look at me, but they don't see me. They just see the face they give me. I guess I should have figured this all out when I was 16 like everyone else, but better late than never.
I am the lie you gave to me, the hollow shell of a self that never was. You cannot find me, you never knew where to look. If I put up street signs you would just keep running around in circles like a scared rat.
Should I inhabit my shell and be a part of something, or be true to myself and exist in almost complete solitude? I need to get rich so I can afford the prostitutes it's gonna take to get me from here to my death. Most of all I fear that my loneliness and contempt will make me a bitter old man, and I'll die hating this world I have decided I should love. Only love can save me. Perhaps only love can save us all.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
zerogirl:
the one thing love can do is encourage you. it's much easier to put yourself out to the rest of the world when there is someone standing next to you and encouraging you. it can breed that feeling that it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, whether they can appreciate you or not, because you know that there's at least one person who could give a fuck, and is there for you regardless. it can be very liberating.
your words are sad, but lyrical. you will stumble across someone or something someday that will help you find your way.
Jan 20, 2004
dejajeva:
Hi hi! I need your email address if you feel comfortable giving it to me!!!
Jan 23, 2004

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