"you are now rockin' with the best.."
after i turned 20 i made a rule regarding my birthday and celebrating. the rule is one should only celebrate their birthday every five years. to me that makes sense, rather than make a big deal out of all the middle years.
i prefer to be on my own either way. i think so many years being alone have pretty much made me one highly trained sad sack of shit. i do miss hanging around friends all the time, actually having a life and doing things but now most have gone off in their own directions and/or split up because of some bullshit. these years have given me a LOT of time to meditate on so many things (perhaps too much) but i've come to believe one shouldn't waste so much time pondering while so many days pass.
it would be like a young man training to be a soldier so he can rush off to join the battle in some far off land. year after year he trains and prepares for every possible scenario he may encounter on the battlefield and by the time he's ready the war is over.
this is how i see myself. i spent so many years thinking things over and trying to dig deep into my mind and gain a better understanding on recent events in my life at the time and now at 24 all i see is when i look back at the 4 or 5 years i've spent in constant war with myself and my old demons is that i have wasted so much time.
i feel so damn old and i'm not even 25..ugh i think i'm just too sleep deprived. then again i don't think it's fair to say deprived when it's me who is the one keeping myself awake.
anyway..enough of this moody depressing bullshit.
danke to those who sent bday wishes, very much appreciated.
ciao.
after i turned 20 i made a rule regarding my birthday and celebrating. the rule is one should only celebrate their birthday every five years. to me that makes sense, rather than make a big deal out of all the middle years.
i prefer to be on my own either way. i think so many years being alone have pretty much made me one highly trained sad sack of shit. i do miss hanging around friends all the time, actually having a life and doing things but now most have gone off in their own directions and/or split up because of some bullshit. these years have given me a LOT of time to meditate on so many things (perhaps too much) but i've come to believe one shouldn't waste so much time pondering while so many days pass.
it would be like a young man training to be a soldier so he can rush off to join the battle in some far off land. year after year he trains and prepares for every possible scenario he may encounter on the battlefield and by the time he's ready the war is over.
this is how i see myself. i spent so many years thinking things over and trying to dig deep into my mind and gain a better understanding on recent events in my life at the time and now at 24 all i see is when i look back at the 4 or 5 years i've spent in constant war with myself and my old demons is that i have wasted so much time.
i feel so damn old and i'm not even 25..ugh i think i'm just too sleep deprived. then again i don't think it's fair to say deprived when it's me who is the one keeping myself awake.
anyway..enough of this moody depressing bullshit.
danke to those who sent bday wishes, very much appreciated.
ciao.
Trust me the "war" is far from being over at 24...