"I get what I want but got no one to share it with"
sifting through various journals here i'm reminded how there is so much hurt out there. sadly we experience more downs than ups in life and most of us do our best to black out the pains of our pasts.
i think there is one thing that we intelligent freaks and scarred souls share with eachother and that is loss.
i look at loss and heartbreak as a two sided coin. if you are lucky you learn from the hardships you face and gain another layer of armor to sponge up the next rain of blows down the road..can you consider it fortunate to be able to grimace when it comes and stare off into nothing while you begin the half assed healing process?
i do my best to comfort those in need, sometimes i wonder if thats my only purpose in life. some label me as too nice, others label me as an angel, i only see a devil in the mirror. is it wrong to offer even a total stranger compassion? in the uneasyness of our lives today i guess so. still my heart breaks when i scroll your sadness. we creatures flourish in the quiet corners of broken society.
i've been praised, cursed, loved, and disposed. it's been five years since i've been able to sleep without the haunt of her eyes. i've held others since but she remains there in the dead of my mind. that assuring smile..all i can mutter is how she is long lost but she still smiles like she did when she was mine. then the dream is over.
love's last breath left me on the streets of the happiest place on earth. somebody up there loathes me..
wandering like a sideshow freak in some gypsy carnivale i'm the wonderous broken man, the exotic tin foil knight..let me be your hero..
just once.
/end ramble
sifting through various journals here i'm reminded how there is so much hurt out there. sadly we experience more downs than ups in life and most of us do our best to black out the pains of our pasts.
i think there is one thing that we intelligent freaks and scarred souls share with eachother and that is loss.
i look at loss and heartbreak as a two sided coin. if you are lucky you learn from the hardships you face and gain another layer of armor to sponge up the next rain of blows down the road..can you consider it fortunate to be able to grimace when it comes and stare off into nothing while you begin the half assed healing process?
i do my best to comfort those in need, sometimes i wonder if thats my only purpose in life. some label me as too nice, others label me as an angel, i only see a devil in the mirror. is it wrong to offer even a total stranger compassion? in the uneasyness of our lives today i guess so. still my heart breaks when i scroll your sadness. we creatures flourish in the quiet corners of broken society.
i've been praised, cursed, loved, and disposed. it's been five years since i've been able to sleep without the haunt of her eyes. i've held others since but she remains there in the dead of my mind. that assuring smile..all i can mutter is how she is long lost but she still smiles like she did when she was mine. then the dream is over.
love's last breath left me on the streets of the happiest place on earth. somebody up there loathes me..
wandering like a sideshow freak in some gypsy carnivale i'm the wonderous broken man, the exotic tin foil knight..let me be your hero..
just once.
/end ramble
aeryn:
What an intriguing first entry. I could use a hero.
junko:
I'm tempted to leave some regurgitated clich --- the masses have many for love and lost, but I don't think most even suspect the depth of this dark bottomless hole.