vinyle

*This is not a solicitation for sympathy* Just something I had to think about and would like to express.

Those who know me best know that I am really critical of myself. I've been a little more self critical lately, possibly from work possibly from some changes. It's always been hard for me not to measure my self worth to some extent by the way other people see me. I've always felt the need to be a do gooder, not to rock the boat, to please. If I did these things maybe I would be pretty enough, friendly enough, likeable enough. The sucky thing about this is that it made me feel worse in the end. I would compare myself to other people and overanalyze how I did not stack up against them. I was an individual afraid of being individual.

So call me a late bloomer, 31 and I finally am learning to realize that I am a worthy person, that I am nice but don't have to be all the time, that it's ok to be weird and that I don't need to feel threatened by things. People don't have to like me and if they don't maybe its not because of something I did or didn't do. Maybe the problem is with them. What brought this realization on? Maybe the divorce, maybe sharing an office with a bridezilla and her insecurities, maybe my friends, maybe my sweet little boy who loves mommy no matter what.

Hi my name is vinyle can we be friends?.