vim

so these two naked chicks were wrestling on my bed the other night...pinching...biting...teasing...when the curvier of the two says to me: "matty you should take some pictures!!"...to which i jokingly replied..."but baby, i don't have a wide-angle lense."...

listen...no matter how much you adore a big, juicy ass...never let a woman know that she has one....I don't care how you phrase it.

always give wayward friends a second chance...life is far too short to burn such bridges, and a rekindled friendship, is like a bandaid for the soul...

can you feel the Love people?



....she's all around us.

there are many things that comprise that which is always the perfect dinner at Taverna di Santi...the varioius bruschetta for example, the insalata caprese, the fazzoleti, the carpaccio, the timbale di riso, the pollo agrodolce, the homemade, daily fresh pastas, their amazing selection of borolo and barbaresco...but it doesn't all really meld into perfection until Franscesca, the pastry chef herself, comes out to serve us...
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there is a point...shortly after magically wild, speed-pole sex...where you will be in the bathroom...fixing yourself up, composing yourself for whats left of the day....and if She then comes in...while you're at the mirror moisturizing , or flexing or whatever....and She plops right down to set loose the mighty corn-backed rattler...then THAT, my good friends...is true Love...pure, selfless, trusting, undying, true Love.

so when i...
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DUDE...have you guys seen that movie 21 Grams??....i didn't realize that it was also 21 hours long....and required 21 weeks of intensive prozac therapy post-viewing....HOLY CRAP!!!

on the other hand, Naomi Watts does have one sweet set o' shirt potatoes.

at the innocent age of 17, Marina the ballerina, while riding my pimply teen-aged face as if it were Sea-Biscuit himself...could fold herself over backwards in half, and start hummin' the D like a seasoned porn star...she's 28 now, and in her sexual prime...

I can only imagine...what sweet, glorious debauchery, lies behind her husband's contented, wry smile.

ahh sweet memory.

Ritz-Carlton, San Francisco until Friday....please join me in my suite for the Playboy afterparty at 4am Thursday morning for vodka, caviar, smoked sturgeon....and umm...shit....what else...ummm....uhhh...OH YEAH, PLAYMATES!!! WOO-HOO!!!

Vim's overinght sooper-dooper-pooper weight loss plan!!!

1. go to a nice deli late in the day just before they close.

2. pick things out of the glass cabinet that should be made fresh and eaten right away, like marinated veggie salad, grilled, marinated chicken breasts, smoked salmon....etc...

3. eat dinner and watch a scary movie.

4. go to bed feeling strange and then shit liquid...
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