I want to make this year better than last year. Last year had its ups in downs. Towards the ends mostly its downs. I have been through heartbreak and breakdowns. I'm going to be 28 on the 15th. I want to make 2010 a great year. I got great advice from an amazing person. He told me that we both been through a lot and that I was a great person and deserve the best this year would be better for me.. I want to say goodbye to the ones that have broken my heart or shall I say the one that broke my heart.. I go back and fourth and wonder if I should try to maintain sometime of friendship with you but then I think god you hurt me so bad I just don't think I can. I'm done with love for now. I'm going to focus on me I know what I deserve and its the best no less. I want to get out of this state for good.. I'm sick of all this anexity over all the shit I keep inside. Life's to short to be anything but amazing and live my life to the fullest. I want the best for myself and know I can get it.. I just got to focus. I miss my grandmother and its made me these holidays hard and won't make my birthday any easier. b/c she always would give me a cute card telling me how great of a granddaughter I was. When at times I didn't belive I was that great at all..I know this is a bunch of rambling but I need to say somethings..