viktoria

So I guess I havent had time to take care of myself, and now I feel like I am drowning. Stuck without work back where I started. A short venture trying to get out of my little hell hole in eastern OR left me broke and back where I started. Not exactly a great place, where upon I get more bad news which seems to be the only kind I get these days. However, I am writing daily, something I am new too...... fiercely looking for work.....anywhere but here, or even here if it means I can move out. I am officially naming myself Rapunzel because that is how I feel, not that I cant physically leave my tower but am bound by a lack of income, true friends, and emotional support. My dogs feel the pain too and I hope for their sake and mine we can figure things out because I am getting WAY WAY WAY to old for the nonsense in my life. Why did I have to graduate when I did?

On another note has anyone thought about WA D.C. apparently that is where all the money in america is right now, makes me wonder if I need to leave and move far far from here. But then I think if I am going that far why not go even further like Costa Rica or Brazil, somewhere pretty where maybe I can do some good. I am so lost in my head right now and confused. I need solid people to talk to instead of myself. Do they have guidance counselors for adults lol....oh well......I guess I was always geared towards being alone. I just miss the carefree days of college, expecialy when it was warm in Oly and me an my best friend could talk about what we were going to do when we were older drinking our coffee and counting hot guys who walked by....well Im older now, and not where I wanted to be. I feel like I have lost all those friends or they lost me. And I feel like its too late to grow up. Thats why my dreams are the best place right now, because I can go back and live those moments over and over again.