I used to be a terrible student, a classic can't-do-it-til-the-last-minute type. I think perhaps due to several reasons: not quite knowing what I wanted, not quite knowing how to achieve any goals I might have should I have them, being young and therefore convinced that the only point of life was to have fun, being inexperienced in the simple method of breaking a task into small pieces and planning them into my life, and, being kinda smart enough to get away with this behaviour.
Now I'm self-employed and there's just no space for that nonsense. I'm accountable to myself, and if I fail long enough, hard enough, things could go very wrong for me. If I succeed long enough, hard enough, untold riches await. So I had to get my act in gear.
I know what I want! (Finally!) I know how to get there! (Somewhat.) I find satisfaction in hard work now, and fun isn't fun unless the work came first. (Mostly.) I'm fucking brilliant at breaking tasks down, planning them, and achieving them. (Never thought that would happen.) There's nothing to 'get away with' now. ... It's weird that these skills aren't specifically taught. Maybe normal people already have them? Or get it, earlier on, that they need to work on them. Hmmm. Sometimes I think how quickly I'd get through all that learning now, if I did it now. How much more I'd get out of it.
Anyway, someone told me about this article about procrastination and I thought it was good. Well there's like 3 of them. They're all good.
I still have a monkey. Its tamer now. This year I've thought a lot about what I want, and gone after it. I think to myself, THIS IS YOUR YEAR! 2015. (Important but not Urgent, Quadrant 2, see blog.) This is the year I did whatever the fuck I wanted. And worked hard at it. Feels pretty good to be honest. This blogger has another article about not caring what other people think which, for me, didn't strike much of a chord. I'm terrible at caring what other people think. I'm great at being a weirdo, and dancing by myself. I think the only reason it all took until now was, I was still working out what I wanted. What were the options. What I was capable of.
Some people know what they want to do from when they're a child, or a teenager. I am insanely jealous of those people. In fact of I could go back now, I'd start doing my current work alongside school, and get out of school as soon as possible, and I'd take that 'side-line-hobby' as seriously as possible. But back then I had a lot of hobbies that I'd pick up and drop, and I wasn't serious about any of them. I guess for me, I had to get through a lot before I figured certain things out. I have a lot more figuring out to do, but at least I'm finally fairly satisfied with my level of figured-outness, at the moment. Its insanely uncomfortable NOT TO KNOW WHAT YOU WANT for so long. You question if you even want anything. I think for me it was to do with maturity. I'd get bored quickly because I wasn't mature enough to want to develop anything. Something like that. Maybe to some degree I'm still that way. For example with ukulele I taught myself, and I can play chords without looking and sing at the same time, but am I bothered about complex finger-picky stuff? No. I just want to be able to do enough to sing along and enjoy myself. My friend who learned after me is all about the fiddly twingly stuff, and she's much better than me now. Well, I guess with this I've just found something and done it to the level I wanted. And that's OK! But it's not OK when there's a skill I should improve and it would help me professionally and I just can't be bothered. I really need to up my Photoshop skills for example.
For my generation, the recession hit hard. We were all having a great time, getting jobs without much difficulty, and then BAM. I used to think it would be easy to do whatever I wanted, and for a while it was. And then it wasn't. In some ways I'm not annoyed. It forced me to REALLY figure it out. How long would I have been satisfied working for other people anyway, even if it was something I actually wanted to do? So it sucked, but I can see the benefit now. I think for generations before, they really just kinda waltzed through education into reasonable jobs. And oh my gosh, university used to be free. The UK government paid for it. Can you fucking imagine?! Jeez.
With beating procrastination, I find the best thing is outlining the task. Breaking it down. Planning those small tasks in, day and time. And then ticking them off, on paper (way more satisfying than anything digital - for me it must be pen and paper). This all seems really obvious (and kind of boring). But not to someone like me who had to learn this the hard way. And like the blogger guy Tim says, think of all you could achieve with more self-discipline! What if the only difference between a standard person and a 'high-achieving person' (whatever you think that is) is, just the amount of time they dedicated to whatever skill. So it may seem mundane, obvious, or unimportant, but if more people could master this, the world would be richer for their input, and they could lead more productive lives. If only I'd gained these skills earlier I wouldn't have spent so much time dicking around! Uncertain and incapable, and as a result kind of miserable.
I used to do circus skills. I did poi, hula-hoop, juggling, stilts, trapeze and silks. Mainly I spun double staff, sometimes on fire, sometimes in shows, sometimes professionally. What I learned from that was, it is all about time. I can learn any skill, given enough time. The more time I put in, the better I will get. The learning curve for staff is pretty linear. One trick, then another trick, then a slightly harder trick, then a set of harder tricks. And on. I hated PE (gym class in school), because I didn't enjoy the camaraderie or the competition. I am a lone wolf. But this was physical expression not based on a team (well sometimes it was, but mainly not), or on beating anyone else. So I loved it.
(Below, picture not me, but the kinda thing I did.)
That was kind of a lesson in itself. Its funny how all this stuff is so obvious. Sometimes you just have to learn things through experiencing them, I guess. Although my upbringing was problematic so I don't know, maybe other people get this obvious stuff from their parents. The lesson here was time + concentration = results. Rocket science huh!!!
People who do circus often talk about flow. They get into the flow. You get lost in practise and hours pass. Its a beautiful thing. For me that's easier with a physical task, preferably repetitive. Getting in the flow is great.
Tim the blogger guy mentioned flow in his blog on procrastination. I'd never really thought about it outside of circus. Hm. Its a good diagram.
Its fucking tough being a procrastinator. So much time wasted, and more time wasted feeling bad about it. I found the more critical the deadline, the more I'd be likely to put it off. I hated the Panic Monster so much I'd ignore him whenever he'd turn up. Recipe for disaster.
Anyway, I just wanted to blog about this blog, because I thought it was so good, and also its a topic not really discussed much. Poor procrastinators. Flow is so good! Happy Playground is so good!
I dunno, what do you guys think?
xx Viking xx
