in other news...
i can't sleep because i have to. it is the worst motivation to tell yourself when your not sleeping that you should be because you know how tommorrow will be if you don't and so on...of course the floor is shit for comfort but i am not waking the milk monster up with even a soundless sneak into the bedroom. he knows when i enter....
Read More
Read More
y:
This is terrible. Doesn't your husband help at all? I mean, I know he can't do the feeding, but shit, you do sound sleep deprived, I can totally understand the being scared of your boy coming through the dark thing. Is there no-one that can help you out? Just watch him for a while while you get some decent shut-eye? Friends? Siblings? Parents? You sound pretty alone in this, like it's all piled on you, and there needs to be more of a balance.
Is your son's feeding sporadic? Or have you managed to guide him into a rhythm of feeding at set times? My sister-in-law has gotten into a rhythm of feeding my niece only during the day, so that they both get a decent amount of sleep during the night. Mind you, she feeds her with the bottle - she gave up breastfeeding quite quickly, which I always thought was a shame; but then there are upsides and downsides to both approaches, especially if the husband isn't providing much support. My brother is a very supportive husband, and a very good father, both in seeing to practical matters and also in giving his wife emotional support.
Kids love rhythm, I know that much. It supposedly gives them a feeling of security, of safety - they feel protected by it, as if by an invisible force field or something; it gives them a sense of well-being. That's why nursery rhymes are so appealing to them, and songs, because of the rhythm of the repeated rhymes and the flowing back and forth of the lines. Music and painting and all that as well, like I mentioned before - they create a kind of air that children are happiest breathing.
I can't help but think the bottom line is that you need to think more about yourself. I don't think any child would benefit from having a completely selfless mother; quite the opposite, in fact. My own mother has always been too selfless where I'm concerned, and I grew up feeling too attached to her, like I couldn't exist anywhere except by her side. I think she maybe realises now that she should have held herself back a bit more, found the balance.
Is your son's feeding sporadic? Or have you managed to guide him into a rhythm of feeding at set times? My sister-in-law has gotten into a rhythm of feeding my niece only during the day, so that they both get a decent amount of sleep during the night. Mind you, she feeds her with the bottle - she gave up breastfeeding quite quickly, which I always thought was a shame; but then there are upsides and downsides to both approaches, especially if the husband isn't providing much support. My brother is a very supportive husband, and a very good father, both in seeing to practical matters and also in giving his wife emotional support.
Kids love rhythm, I know that much. It supposedly gives them a feeling of security, of safety - they feel protected by it, as if by an invisible force field or something; it gives them a sense of well-being. That's why nursery rhymes are so appealing to them, and songs, because of the rhythm of the repeated rhymes and the flowing back and forth of the lines. Music and painting and all that as well, like I mentioned before - they create a kind of air that children are happiest breathing.
I can't help but think the bottom line is that you need to think more about yourself. I don't think any child would benefit from having a completely selfless mother; quite the opposite, in fact. My own mother has always been too selfless where I'm concerned, and I grew up feeling too attached to her, like I couldn't exist anywhere except by her side. I think she maybe realises now that she should have held herself back a bit more, found the balance.
well, it is summer...
the day is hot
no plans have been made
i have soome time
a little
for myself.
i get in the car and go
creating more heat
to my mom's house.
she sits with me
for five minutes.
the past is catching up
to me.
it is the past
i have glorified
and if
i could only
return
if only
she brings down a bag...
Read More
no plans have been made
i have soome time
a little
for myself.
i get in the car and go
creating more heat
to my mom's house.
she sits with me
for five minutes.
the past is catching up
to me.
it is the past
i have glorified
and if
i could only
return
if only
she brings down a bag...
Read More
the ending of my haunt.
i'll see you tommorrow.
i'll see you tommorrow.
f is for
trying
to become
quiet,
i become
quiet.
becoming loud,
i become
loud.
i can do anything.
(and don't you
fucking
forget it.)
trying
to become
quiet,
i become
quiet.
becoming loud,
i become
loud.
i can do anything.
(and don't you
fucking
forget it.)
it's better if you let that noise become music to your ears, somehow. take down that bitterness with only half the sugar you usually get it down with. their bumping is like music to my ears. his crying is a symphony. i can take your lack of respect. i can remember your sick and tired, that you hate being here. what is my excuse? what...
Read More
Read More
lovelysitwell:
hey sounds like my mum and dad.if you would like cheering up i can write you a letter.its nice to get stuff in the post.its not much.life sucks.
lovelysitwell:
just message me your address with your name.i promise im not a nutter! 
the escape is precious.
a diamond.
the seasons believed in it
the trees were on fire.
to break this
would take
a step outward.
with my one grey hand
i completed my phase.
trains are better than planes.
i don't like to be off the ground for
long.
of course,
i had to take him
with me
i was slowed down
then but
i accepted...
Read More
a diamond.
the seasons believed in it
the trees were on fire.
to break this
would take
a step outward.
with my one grey hand
i completed my phase.
trains are better than planes.
i don't like to be off the ground for
long.
of course,
i had to take him
with me
i was slowed down
then but
i accepted...
Read More
lovelysitwell:
i know how you feel.iv spent the last week wondering whats wrong with me.its hard to bounce back time after time.i feel old and tired of going through this shit every day.i just wan to be happy.im just so tired of having to face another day of crap.x
getting rid of the past debris. nice to let it go. to read the words is to be there again. so, bye. it's going.
it's gone.
it's gone.
lovelysitwell:
thank you for being nice.x
limitation and
the zoo
anger.
the pictures
aren't
turning out
right.
there is no time
or
the door is locked.
(the windows won't open)
what do you do
when every sound
cuts to your
bone?
i hear dog whistles,
i hear the chatterings
of dolphins
in the
not so
nearby
ocean.
the lawn mowers
don't help.
his fucking
video game
doesn't help,
and the caffiene...
Read More
the zoo
anger.
the pictures
aren't
turning out
right.
there is no time
or
the door is locked.
(the windows won't open)
what do you do
when every sound
cuts to your
bone?
i hear dog whistles,
i hear the chatterings
of dolphins
in the
not so
nearby
ocean.
the lawn mowers
don't help.
his fucking
video game
doesn't help,
and the caffiene...
Read More
billyfivecrows:
It's strange how far away and distant the present moment seems.
"Now" is a hard place to reach, sometimes.
(Odd days at my house... everything we've known for a while is being turned upside down. I'll be able to respond better to more personal replies soon, but the next couple of days will be really busy...
love to ya
-b.)
"Now" is a hard place to reach, sometimes.
(Odd days at my house... everything we've known for a while is being turned upside down. I'll be able to respond better to more personal replies soon, but the next couple of days will be really busy...
love to ya
-b.)
y:
Man, I was right there with you. Profoundly frustrating.