vervain______

and what was it,
what was it, exactly?
i could not be certain
but i heard the voice
calling my name
a second time
louder.

in these cases, i am a child
still wanting to do my small
and limited
amount of good
to hold still, sit straight
put my head against the head rest
listen to directions
and not complain too much.

i come prepared
anyway
for a long wait
i have my book

and a pen
that
was figured
important
enough
to find
and carry.

i don't know what i want.
parts of me care to break
clean away
from the other parts

(i have accumulated
seven years to
some goal
and now)

bombs and
explosions
to
take the order
of this routine
and blow it
to smithereens, yes.

parts of me

it is always

the seperate
parts
i give credit to

they form a kind of family
idiosyncratic
but somehow
functioning
only half of me
happy
at a time.