vervain______

green grass
the white fence and
we are talking. inbetween the swing
push
i say "aren't the days long?
mine are."
she stares.
"yeah."
my hand comes up
pushes him
stays up
contact
again.
some are becoming pregnant
a second time, one a third.
one is due in february.
another is on fertility drugs.
that one is tired and doesn't give a
damn. she doesn't pretend.
"they don't tell you what it's like."
she says.
"i couldn't just sit around nursing him
all day, it wasn't me."

today it wasn't so bad
i got up to play with some of the
kids. the rest keep sitting while
i kick around a ball. there is cut up
grapes and some blueberries
on the patio table. the sun is bright i
brought crackers. it is a nice yard -
fenced in. there are flowers. there
is a swing set with a wooden kid
house on top. toys everywhere.
it was easy to be there. natural.
no big whoop. which is good.