vervain______

my lady,
i have poisoned you.
it has not been
concious,
not all of
the violence
i do.
but you know
me.
you know this.
i try to get through it
denying how
you have taken
my hand
given me shelter.
i writhe and i wiggle
as if
i don't have a choice
in my suffering.
but i remember
in chosen moments
to remember
all the safty
i have and
your own hands
that have never
betrayed me
have only touched me
with great love and
with the gentleness
i hold,
i give.