vervain______

i am nervous when i talk to you...i drink to ease the tension. i would gladly tell you this, among other things. he said i'm too honest and the male ego is fragile. it has nothing to do with being a man or otherwise. this day is long and tiring. both me and the boy are house bound. what will come out tonight, after those wheels are greased, after i feel my moment of freedom? i am already thinking about it. one line from you in an email and i'm giddy again. i get excited and i want you even more. it has been about 15 years since we were that close, our mouths trailing over every part. we were sticky in the morning. it was easy, the easiest thing i have ever done. i am older now. i remind myself that the past is no where to live.