vervain______

this night
fine
in
under
my head. he isn't available. niether is the other one. he left without a sound and then i was alone. i seethed in the quiet. i wanted to bash pans around and make a clamor. i did no such thing, as i finally got the child to sleep. i don't sing lullibies anymore. after he left, i began talking to myself. what is it you want? will you ever get it? there are no donuts in the bagel shop. why would i go there to get one? here i am. my hands still empty.