vervain______

woke up at 909pm. he was gone. it was already arranged. almost every light in the apartment was turned off. i got to the tv. before that, the sun starting to go down with the gold coming through the window. it was an intense contrast. i didn't plan on falling to sleep but my body takes what it can. sometimes it shuts off and it suprises me. i started it again, anyway. today was a hard day. i become cold / unattainable. i turn to stone and small touches fall off me transformed into something very unlike warmth. i started it again. before the sleep took me and when i woke, there it was, the lonliness. then that small ugly voice began.
your alone
it said
and you deserve it.