vervain______

"sunday, sunday...can't trust that day...." today the babe went down early as the night was filled with restlessness and minimal sleep...the usual tossing and turning, with cries of frustration peppering the mix (mine and his). i drank coffee today (my answer to lack of sleep) furthering my tiredness, as i am no longer tired enough to lay down with him. i told myself i wouldn't finish the cup but it was damn good coffee. my friend is up for practicing his new reiki skills on me today. and after the cup of coffee i was up for it too. before then, i was like death warmed over (nice visual). i am taking a break from writing my usual angst filled poetry as i am not so angst filled. i am also a grand talker, meanwhile the changes i so greatly need to exercise, lay only as thoughts destined to be drumed up time and again but not to be activated. so, sunday, sunday...we go to my aunt's tonight for dinner. i will have to bring my own food because, as usual, meat is on the menu and my diet is my own choice (vegan for about 2 weeks now (?) my other aunt was admitted to the hospital last night after being very sick...we don't know what's wrong yet. at easter brunch i had a strange feeling she was ready to "check out" soon. her husband died a few years ago from cancer and they were very close. she is a very sweet woman, but like almost all my blood relatives, i don't know her that well. as it is, there aren't many left in my family. my grandfathers and uncles are all gone and everyone remaining is extremley old...the generation gap is obviously huge. and as i'm not good at obligations, which does lead to a bit of guilt, i have not offered to spend any time with anyone outside of the dinners that happen here and there. i also returned from living on the west coast about a year ago after being gone 10 years. of course i visited during holiday and sometimes for no occasion at all, but that doesn't really count. anyway, hope everyone is well.