vervain______

need to dye some of my hair blue. i say "need" because that is what some of my ideas are bound to turn into, an obsession of some kind. really, in itself, blue hair is no big deal, and yet, here i am wanting blue hair. why? (i thought about this long and hard yesterday) because i do, that's why. need i say more? plus, the bleaching process has already happened opening the door to more...color. my father asked me not to dye it before seder and because i can't stand people treating me like the outsider freak i often feel like internally, i will obey. but still...i want to do it now. i was going to go with green in honor of spring and as i would like to resemble a tree's leaves, but the atomic turquise, that's more my bag. green appears to be more punk rock than i care to convey and me, i ain't punk. i'm more...oh, i don't know. god, i really don't...