vervain______

enter that wilderness. nothing had moved and the ground was quiet. the sound of a knife cutting the wind is heard, one evidently thrown through the air, there was a casualty, or two. i thought, this isn't the first time you said too much. the future hangs like something gratituous or bloated, a far out alien caccoon contianing those things needed to contiue life. a home. from the outside that blood balloon is a mess and misunderstood. i am sorry i made the little hairless monkey rattle his cage. he threw his own brand of punches to my face. the sickness has settled in one side of me. one nostril does not work. i try at sleep but i feel as if i have fallen under the water line. i remind myself i will not drown. clothe thyself in fruit or honeybees. there are kinder things, a laugh, just over the hill. bring him back soon, he needs his rest, and other stories a mother lives in. i am sorry i mistreat you so, it is just, i never believed we could make it. (this is just another misgiving, among many.)