vervain______

one eye
on the road
no eyes
on the road.
i pass crackers
back
to small hands
broken in half
so he doesn't choke
on them.
i look in my rear view
to make sure
they
go down
okay.
i am
a beserker
a mother
on caffiene,
rolling fast
and furious
to get home.
my explanations
have disappeared.
i trick him into getting
in the carseat.
i say "no"
more than i ever
planned to.
you really do
need a brother
a sister
someone to share
your toys with
someone to take
your toys away
from you.
in the restarant
he whines
bangs
a cellphone on
the table
slams crayons down
so hard
they break.
he tries to eat
the red one.
he already appears
to have anger issues
but it could just
be his age.
what do i know?
i am living
that cliche
and
many others.
all these mirrors
anyway,
i see my own face
in all
of them.
the push and pull
between his father
and me
is constant,
like the air he breathes.
it is even easier
to argue now,
there are more
reasons.
what are we
teaching him,
anyway?
how could
i not know
until now
that
he too
will not have
escaped us
without having
his
very own
baggage?