vervain______

crumbs for hansel,
gretel isn't here yet
the other half of me
not yet exposed
to that possible oven.
the thought of gretel
anyway
sends me reeling
at one time,
it seemed like
a good idea.

luckily
this morning
i moved
the knive's handle
out of his reach
pushing it further
back on the counter.
i take my obvious
accomplishments
when i can
but
the blade
remains
dirty.

he offers me
a crumb of my
own
(abundance is how
you see it,
or don't)
no thankyou,
honey.

i am out of
cream
it is an item
i like pretending
i don't
need
just
like
the coffee.
at the supermarket
i remember
the orange juice
the kale
and
the bread.

soymilk doesn't
come close.

it becomes clear
to me
for the hundreth
time
why they said
not to
breastfeed them
to sleep
everytime
why
cosleeping
is a
bad
idea
still
i can't
shake the
outlook
that
suffering
goes along
with
anyone
willing
to go
against
the current
and my own
undoing
is
tied to
the truth
that
i will
never
listen to
them.