vervain______

how is it?
like black coated steel.
unhuggable
pressing down,
a dead wieght.
when will it end?
soon, i hope.
(look how i leave it up to fate or time)
how is it?
it is me.
(i use no sugar
or colors
or personality
to justify my experience.)


tonglen.
breathe it in.
everything ugly.
the worst.
but
what is dispised is shoved somewhere
else
seperated from the whole
using wheels
propulsion
caffiene
point a and
point b
(time travel.)

what can you be?

i try to be agreeable,
dance when he plays
a certain song
but always
he sees me
underneath.
my legs dance
while my eyes
continue
to sleep.

the sickness ends.
it is time to heal.

and so it is.