verminmccann

I'm nevreous as fuck i know why as wall, its kinda making me feel sick. Ok this girl i've known for like 5 or 6 yrs. ( i've had a huge chrsh on her, still do ) is having a party this weekend and she came by Sunday while i wasn't home and she told my parents about the party. The weird thing is it seems my parents want me to go. Don't get me wrong i would love to spend more time with this girl, i am just nervous as fuck about calling her, because i haven't seen her i a few months, what is really boggling my mind is why i am letting this get to me. I guess i just gotta quit being such an ass and call this girl i've had feelings for, for such a long time. I know what i gotta do, i just feel like i'm not important enough for her which is a really stupid thing to think or i wouldn't have been friends with her for so long. Its just every but me seems to have an adventurous life and i live in the middle of nowhere where nothing happens, ever and i never had anything to talk about.

What normally happens is we talk about whats been going on recentally and she will have this great story and my story sounds like this, well work sucks ass, as usual but i continue to go because i still don't drive, i work my ass off im the same place for almost 5 yrs. only make $8 an hr. and the bastard won't give me full time so i can get benefits and go to the doctor, get my eyes rechecked get new glasses. All that happens is i go to work come home play games for a bit watch some tv get paid on friday and blow all my money on cds and anime.

Fuck i don't know why i keep tring to talk myself outta seeing her. For now i think i am gonna smoke my brains out ( cigarettes not weed ) maybe take a nap then call her if she doesn't call first.

Laters for now, */wave*

PS: if she is part of this site and i never realized it and she reads this i will prolly hang myself. I don't know why i am being such a whiney puss right now.