vermin

At last something feels right.

The last few months have been difficult and confusing at best, heartbreaking at worst. I've been through some hard times and done some stupid shit that seemed like a good idea at the time. I thought I knew who I was becoming, but every time I came back to myself and looked in the mirror I saw a girl who looked worryingly like who I used to be, going down a very bad path, with her eyes closed.

Something had to change. At times like this I sense the internal structures breaking down, and I start work from the inside out. After this process I find it very painful to look in the mirror and see the same face I used to live behind when I was THAT girl. It's like going back to a favourite place of your childhood and finding it derelict and soulless, as if whatever made it what it was has moved on.

Fuck me you can tell I've spent the last two months living in my own head.

Anyway. This person feels comfortable. I think she's happier here. And she's ready to come out now.