Casino. I have tales to tell you guys about the casino but it actually boils down to a simple realization: the house always wins. Now, I am a proud loser. Doesn't matter if I lose my rent or the equivalent of a nice dinner out, I do not show signs of grief or displeasure. I smile as if though I have thousands in my account and it doesn't touch me the least. However, it is precisely this proud loser attitude that makes me a real financial loser. If I had the common sense to save instead of spend to the last dime and more, I would be a well-off young girl by now.
Anyhow, tonight my ex boyfriend called me and we went gambling together. I lost 200 bucks and he lost 2000 bucks. I felt kinda sorry for him but he does claim to have an annual income of half a million so what the heck am I worried about? This is the thing with me: I'm stupid enough to worry for him when I know he is fine. I'm stupid enough to go out with him when I know that he doesn't care about me. Although, tonight, it did feel as if though there was a connection. We spoke about his ex girlfriend (the one before me) and we ended up having some mature talk about relationships in general. I like having him as a friend. I would prefer having him as a lover. I miss the scent of his body.....
Anyhow, tonight my ex boyfriend called me and we went gambling together. I lost 200 bucks and he lost 2000 bucks. I felt kinda sorry for him but he does claim to have an annual income of half a million so what the heck am I worried about? This is the thing with me: I'm stupid enough to worry for him when I know he is fine. I'm stupid enough to go out with him when I know that he doesn't care about me. Although, tonight, it did feel as if though there was a connection. We spoke about his ex girlfriend (the one before me) and we ended up having some mature talk about relationships in general. I like having him as a friend. I would prefer having him as a lover. I miss the scent of his body.....
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As for you ex, gambling with your heart doesn't cost a dime, in fact as a female you could probably score a free meal out of it if you wanted.
Nietzsche AND Plato? I'm more than curious as to how you accomodate both of them into the same realm.
Aaaaah! An instance of universally true synecdoche!
RE: your ex's smell
It's funny, but scent can really be a powerful motivator. I had an ex who'd invite me to sleep over every week or two despite the fact that I was an ex and that almost everything about me had come to set her teeth on edge. We eventually discovered that she'd feel this impulse to invite me over whenever my scent had entirely faded from her bedroom. She'd change her bedding, have an unsettled night or two, and then have this desire to have me sleep over.