venusless

since i can't bear to write this all down, but feel it needs to be mentioned, in short: i've lost another long-time girlfriend to an ex-boyfriend of mine. another friend. another ex. she called me on monday night to tell me she's moving in with him in two months. i had no idea. she thought i should find out through her. they live thousands of miles from each other. i haven't spoken to him in about 5 years. he treated me terribly. i let him treat me terribly. he reminds me of what i can be like at my lowest. now she's chosen him over me. i've been her friend for over 7 years. she was there when he and i were together and she saw what he did to me. but she searched him out. she found him. they fell for each other. and she called to say she's sorry, but she's happier than she's ever been. i said goodbye forever. i can't put these feelings to bed.