You know the loser character Ben Stiller plays in all of his movies? Well, that's how I'm feeling at the moment, except, I'm still waiting for my happy ending.
Claude: Holy shit, Luban! This is not what it look like!
Reuben Feffer: What did you do to her? Did you mess around with her oxygen tanks or something?
Claude: I did nothing, Luban.
Reuben Feffer: My name is not Luban! It is Reuben!
Claude: Look, look we had a scuba, we drink some white wine, we talk about life and we cannot help it. It is like love at first sight. She make like the fire in my trouser.
Claude: It's like zee story of zee heeppo.
Reuben Feffer: I'm not familiar with that story.
Claude: Zee heeppopotamoose, he is not born saying, "Cool beans. I am a heeppo."
No way, Joesay. So he try to paint zee stripe on him to be like zee zebra, but he fool no one. Then he try to put zee spot on zee skin to be like the leopard, but everyboody know he is a heeppo. So, at certain point, he look himself in zee mirror and he just say, "Hey. I am a heeppopotamoose and zere is nothing I can do about it."
As soon as he accepts zis, he live life happy.
Happy as a heeppo.
You understand zis, Luban?
Reuben Feffer: [long pause] I'm gonna kill you!
==========================================================
On a happier note, I dedicate this to Rachel and all my other female friends in this community. You guys make me wanna go gay just so I could be your best friends!!!- Except Rachel, that is, cuz I'd totally do her!
Not that I wouldn't do you guys too... well - you get the point. All I'm saying is, you guys are rad. 
When I wake up yeah I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who wakes up next to you
When I go out yeah I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who goes along with you
If I get drunk yes I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who gets drunk next to you
And if I haver yeah I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who's havering to you
But I would walk 500 miles
And I would walk 500 more
Just to be the man who walked 1000 miles
To fall down at your door
When I'm working yes I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who's working hard for you
And when the money comes in for the work I'll do
I'll pass almost every penny on to you
When I come home yeah I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who comes back home to you
And if I grow old well I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who's growing old with you
But I would walk 500 miles
And I would walk 500 more
Just to be the man who walked 1000 miles
To fall down at your door
When I'm lonely yes I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man whose lonely without you
When I'm dreaming yes I know I'm gonna dream
Dream about the time when I'm with you.
But I would walk 500 miles
And I would walk 500 more
Just to be the man who walked 1000 miles
To fall down at your door
- the Proclaimers
Me nekid and shit.
Claude: Holy shit, Luban! This is not what it look like!
Reuben Feffer: What did you do to her? Did you mess around with her oxygen tanks or something?
Claude: I did nothing, Luban.
Reuben Feffer: My name is not Luban! It is Reuben!
Claude: Look, look we had a scuba, we drink some white wine, we talk about life and we cannot help it. It is like love at first sight. She make like the fire in my trouser.
Claude: It's like zee story of zee heeppo.
Reuben Feffer: I'm not familiar with that story.
Claude: Zee heeppopotamoose, he is not born saying, "Cool beans. I am a heeppo."
No way, Joesay. So he try to paint zee stripe on him to be like zee zebra, but he fool no one. Then he try to put zee spot on zee skin to be like the leopard, but everyboody know he is a heeppo. So, at certain point, he look himself in zee mirror and he just say, "Hey. I am a heeppopotamoose and zere is nothing I can do about it."
As soon as he accepts zis, he live life happy.
Happy as a heeppo.
You understand zis, Luban?
Reuben Feffer: [long pause] I'm gonna kill you!
==========================================================
On a happier note, I dedicate this to Rachel and all my other female friends in this community. You guys make me wanna go gay just so I could be your best friends!!!- Except Rachel, that is, cuz I'd totally do her!
Not that I wouldn't do you guys too... well - you get the point. All I'm saying is, you guys are rad.
When I wake up yeah I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who wakes up next to you
When I go out yeah I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who goes along with you
If I get drunk yes I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who gets drunk next to you
And if I haver yeah I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who's havering to you
But I would walk 500 miles
And I would walk 500 more
Just to be the man who walked 1000 miles
To fall down at your door
When I'm working yes I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who's working hard for you
And when the money comes in for the work I'll do
I'll pass almost every penny on to you
When I come home yeah I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who comes back home to you
And if I grow old well I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who's growing old with you
But I would walk 500 miles
And I would walk 500 more
Just to be the man who walked 1000 miles
To fall down at your door
When I'm lonely yes I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man whose lonely without you
When I'm dreaming yes I know I'm gonna dream
Dream about the time when I'm with you.
But I would walk 500 miles
And I would walk 500 more
Just to be the man who walked 1000 miles
To fall down at your door
- the Proclaimers
Me nekid and shit.
VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
jordan:
i love that song!!!! 
nexttuesday:
Happy National Chicken Appreciation Day!