vena

so...

dont know exactly what i want to tell u but i sit here at my work and it sucks .
(at least in that moment right now)

i know except in the job situation in the world i should be happy to have it easy that way in the company of my dad (every friend tells me that when im down because of the company) BUT after 10 years now it is not that easy as it was some time ago.....
but in the other way if i'ld left & go to another office or anyway a new job i will be not allowed to bring my dog with!
and after the 10 years u can imagine that it is not so easy for me to go, cause they are my parents & without me in the office it is chaos.

i never wanted a job with that response.. :/

Its so fucking difficult - especially one week go's better & the other week i'ld like to kill everybody!
i know in every job are some people or instructions/rules or whatever u dont (want to) accept!
or to say it short: every job has its positive & negative sides.

u guys had to know, i am that kind of person who wants the best for my dearest people & give some reserve back to my parents (for what they did for me - over all the years)
BUT unavoidable it came the point u have to be much more selfish to be able to life live like i want to life it and to improve myself... the last 3, 4 years where so much uninteresting at work and, as human are, i get this feeling private too & so im very lazy andi hate that so much!!!)

and because of that pasttime where i never had to be so selfish i am very very lousy was that ego-thing concerns, u know what i mean..!?

any tips?

so ok thats it, im hungry and go to eat, oh & sorry for my shity english

*kisses to u*
vena