velvetknuckles

Sometimes when Im out in public and I wanna think out loud or if Im nervous Ill take out my cell phone and act like Im talking to someone.



Which got me thinking.


So sometimes when Im walking to my train in Philly I have random, crazy cell phone conversations to no one. Sometimes I act nerdy. Sometimes I act like Im a hit man. Once in a bar I pretended to be a priest who was on a wayward path, dressed in civvies, meeting a woman for an illicit sexual affair and I was talking to MY imaginary priest who was trying to talk me out of it. The bartender (who is now my friend) was absolutely enthralled. Until I told her I made it up. One time I faked an Irish brogue and was having an imaginary argument with my imaginary girlfriend about me catching her fucking my imaginary father. You know how the Irish say fuck all cool like? Ah caunt beleeeeve ya fooct ma fahhhther!!!! Today I acted all serious whilst on my cell and would only nod my head and say I understand, and then every so often Id stop, look up at the top of a building and say, Yep, 254. Or Yep, 39.


If you have lost your mind and dont want anyone to know you are fucking loony slap your cell phone on your head and say whatever you want in public. Because then it is acceptable.

The looks on peoples faces