That little movie vignette always reasonated with me as a vision of what I wanted for myself in a relationship. First seen through my adolescent (and less critical) eyes, the movie is a bit corny, but I still love it for some of its scenes and the way those scenes make me feel. It kicked off a very big "love of samba" period for me that probably drove my friends and family nuts.
Today, however, this scene makes me feel lonely and wishing I had a fellow to ride white horses through marshes with, to shampoo, to tease over intimate formal home dinners, to accost at the top of the stairs, to play guitars and read books with in bed. (Without the cigar burns, preferably.) I know I'll get there, but todaytoday I feel lonely and wishing life came with a fast forward button. I hate feeling this way. Know I could pick up the phone to call a friend, know I could pop by for a visit somewhere, or even seek solace with so many of the sweet friends here. The reality differs from how I'm feeling right now at this moment, 12:18 p.m., June 13, 2008.
Instead of reaching out, my natural inclination is to withdraw. To retreat to try to fix itto fix the problem. Not the most constructive behavior given the circumstances. Somewhat self defeating to the purpose, but, I hate coming to the party in a bad mood or without a lot to give. I'll be alright and this will pass..but this day, as beautiful a day as it is, is a day of suck for me. Today I feel like a gut shot dog, hobbling around, and being all pathetic instead of some well heeled, together chick living out my samba dreams.
Your comments are greatly appreciated. You haven't known me that long so it's hard for you to understand this situation I wrote about. It's not SG related. I trust you enough to lay out the whole story to you though. I will do so in a private message as soon as I have the chance, perhaps later today.
Hey sweetie...I'm up and down to be honest at the moment....I did check in with you post Africa to ask more about your 'other' journey if I remember rightly.....
but sorry if it feels like I 've ignored you.....Work is crazy busy which is good but I am carrying a feeling around with me that I can't shake off...it's a familiar feeling and one I have had all my life I guess....hard to put into words though....mmmmm...struggling to explain....lets forget bout me for a miniute huh......Sorry to hear you been blue but ya know it's a part of life...I started a thread for blue days...check here.......Inspiration Read it or add to it....it may just cheer you up or inspire you or inspire someone else......if i could time travel I would give you a big hug now at 12.18 your time....the blueness will pass.....the sun always rises again after the rain.....
Peace
Kpan
but sorry if it feels like I 've ignored you.....Work is crazy busy which is good but I am carrying a feeling around with me that I can't shake off...it's a familiar feeling and one I have had all my life I guess....hard to put into words though....mmmmm...struggling to explain....lets forget bout me for a miniute huh......Sorry to hear you been blue but ya know it's a part of life...I started a thread for blue days...check here.......Inspiration Read it or add to it....it may just cheer you up or inspire you or inspire someone else......if i could time travel I would give you a big hug now at 12.18 your time....the blueness will pass.....the sun always rises again after the rain.....
Peace
Kpan