velocity

Today's update is all about the horrible things people do to their children that make my days so full of mirth.

I talked to a guy today, and his name was seriously Bandit T. Outlaw. I asked him if that was the name his parents gave him, and he said it was. I like to think his middle name was Trucker. Oh Bandit Trucker Outlaw, you own the key to my heart.

Poor, poor Latrinea Butt. Someone ought to have told her mother that just because you put the letter A on the end, it doesn't make it any less of another word for the crapper. It's also good to keep in mind how the first name complements the last name. In this case, it could use a little work.

The first time I talked to Wayne Chung, I tried really hard not to sing to him. The second time I talked to Wayne Chung, I made a joke about singing to him. The third time, he sang to me. There's nothing quite like picking up the phone to a 57 year old Chinese man shouting, "Evelybody have fun tonight! Evelybody Wayne Chung tonight!"