velocity

I have just successfully stared at the ceiling for an hour.

I feel fragile, volatile. I haven't been sleeping. I feel like destroying everything good I've done in the past year. I have no idea why.

I've been picking fights with everyone. If one of them is you, I'm sorry. My boss, with a concerned hand on my shoulder, sent me home this morning. I have one day to get over this, or I'll begin to think my job is in jeopardy whether or not it really is.

I thought about not going to see her today, maybe that would be easier on me. But I think I need to see her progress, I think I need the assurance that she's getting slowly better, and maybe someday she'll be the person she was.

I think I'll go stare at the ceiling.