velocity

Maurice is a good kid. He's charming, funny, smart, and has loads of potential. He has a smile that makes all of the little junior high girls swoon when he walks by. He had some issues with truancy last year, but this year he's done really well. He's even doing exceptionally well in my class, which has higher standards than the rest of our program.

This morning, I told Maurice as such. He started in the Night School program about the same time that I did last year, fresh out of lockup. We filed truancy on him about six times last year, which gave him about nine full days of attendance. I told Maurice I was really proud of the progress he'd made since then, and that he should be proud of himself. He said, "You know, I kind of am."

Maurice and I talked about his family today. Maurice's mother is one year older than me. She's thirty-three, and Maurice is seventeen. For those of you who don't do math in your head, that made her sixteen when she had him. It's hard enough for me to imagine having a kid at sixteen, but Maurice also has an older sister who's twenty-one, and his sister has a six year old son. So at the age of twenty-seven, Maurice's mom became a grandma. Maurice's mom is also currently pregnant with her seventh and eighth children. For a woman the same age who grew up in the same city, I can't imagine a life more different from mine.

What a huge obstacle Maurice's family must be, which makes his turn around this year all the more impressive.

Well, this afternoon, that all went completely down the shitter, and it wasn't entirely fair. Generally, when my kids' lives go down the shitter, they're pretty much asking for it. Maurice was not. Before lunch, a gaggle of hootchies tried to start something with Maurice out on the patio. Apparently, they had a beef with one of his gang member hootchie sisters, and held him accountable for it. They yelled, they started pushing, and then one of them took a swing. Maurice swung back, and that's when they all started yelling, "He's got a gun! He's got a gun!"

Maurice's probation officer just happened to be at school today to visit a different student, and he had Maurice on the ground within fifteen seconds. There was no gun. But because we suspended the three girls for fighting, and Maurice threw a punch too, we had to suspend him. As his P.O. dragged him off, he said to Maurice, "You did this to yourself, you know. You made this choice."

Even though it won't make any difference, I think it needs to be said: No, he didn't. This isn't the choice Maurice made. This is the inevitability he's been trying to run away from for the past three and a half months. This was the misfortune of circumstance that he's been moving further and further away from, but it sucked him back in. Maurice is officially suspended until January 2nd, but he may never come back again. Fighting is a violation of probation, whether he started it or not, whether or not it was even about him.

I worry about my kids. I worry that the constant barrage of other people's drama is an insurmountable obstacle. I worry that any success is only a temporary reprieve. I worry that a fight today leads to a drive-by tomorrow. I worry that they won't make it out alive, no matter how determined they are.

It's a good thing Graduation is this Thursday. I need some success stories to look forward to.