veieve

Well, Shit.
I just cried for the first time in quite some time, albeit it lasted about two minutes... still mildly eventful, depsite the two glasses of wine that preceded and likely caused it. I apologise, I'm feeling a bit verbose.
At any rate, my closest friend called from Florida and proposed a dart-at-the-map trip of sorts, on which we abandoned our current stalemated lives and try something- anything- as he put it, we both like to travel, and we're smart and sexy enough to accomplish anything (ha - but anyway) .. So I get all excited, and then paranoid...

what if I don't accomplish anything? Is it even about that? no.. But i'm enjoying my time in Michigan, I'm not ready to jet off to L.A. to act or anything, although with our circumstances and friends I suppose it could happen...
I'm still pondering flying to Ireland to see my long-lost good friend, whom I dated and adored and who was until recently estranged, but who invited me to stay with he and his family for an undetermined length of time..

Then there are my visiting cousins from Colorado, who live right near the mountains and who I could stay with for a while and get my hands dirty in a prior passion- wilderness therapy, teaching kayaking, etc...

Amid all of this indecision, I feel self-indulgent because of my options and I won't ask anyone's advice about it... But I feel that I'm too close to it and can't see the forest for the trees,

and fuck. I just want to live, ya dig??? why can't love be all we need? I suppose if it existed in my life, that might be all I needed.

any thoughts?