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vegas

Germany

SG Since 2004

Followers 1336 Following 124

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Saturday Dec 18, 2004

Dec 18, 2004
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I'm not very good at harnessing or even hiding my feelings....
a wise young lady once said to me its in my pale eyes-"you can read em like a book"
and i here i am at 8.30 am without having slept yet, with noone to expose them to...
my throat is swolen with smoke and my eyes nervously twinging and burning with tears, my body's shaking.....
im frozen cold...
yet i dont want to unpackage my mess here right now as its not as natural as my usual quick fire way of creating verbal mountains, since i actually have to physically keep looking up at this fucking glowing screen, rereading what ive just said and considering my next move...usually i just blurt it out and it dissolves in the air only to remain with the others...now im actually having to deal with it and i dont want to...
i considered writing a mountain after all and deleting it before he wakes up from his toxic dive but its just too much effort anyway...
so i suppose i'm just stuck here with myself....or the few crumbs leftover which are me...trying to remember the ingredients which make up my cake...i seem to have handed out the biggest slice already even though it is actually my birthday...
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
erica:
I think that the photobooth pictures accurately represent what I look like on a daily basis. I really can morph what I look like though. But really, I'm just a shaggy haired girl with a little lip gloss and mascara on.

And I think you are very interesting and depth-ridden. But in a fantastically wonderful way. I have been reading quotes on the fact that every life is an origin of suffering. And that makes me wonder why. Why, if all a person should be achieving is peace within themselves, should it be full of pain and tears?

But I guess that's how karma and all that jazz goes...

♥
Dec 19, 2004
nineteen:
oh sweetness... i don't know what to say... my heart hurts for you. ::hugs:: please take care, darling.

kiss kiss kiss
Dec 19, 2004

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