The engine stalled out in my truck. At one point, I was on fire, heading towards the hills and grinning like a madman. The next...dead in the water.
On this road, this road in the middle of open nowhere, I got out and stretched my legs for the first time in two years. I looked back; all I saw was blue skies. I looked ahead. A bad storm looming.
What could I do? I simply stood there, transfixed on that terrible sky over those jagged peaks. Lighting a cigarette, I wondered how to make it through.
I looked at the truck. I looked at my goods. Taking stock of what I had, I knew that I had the ability and the tools to make it through. That no matter how bad it looked, it wouldn't be as bad as my mind was making it out to be.
...but dammit, it was safe here. It was alright here. Why shouldn't I stay?
Camping out for weeks, looking backwards all this time. The blue skies behind shifted hues, became grayer and more distant. Somehow they lost their shine, and the road behind me became nothing more than just a fleeting memory on the horizon. After a while, I forgot what was back there.
And still. Camped out here. Weeks stretched into months, and finally a year. Seasons passed...snow, sleet, warmth, spring, sun.
I woke up and found myself with a beard. How long had I been here? I could remember nothing from my past, could see nothing but the storms in the distance. I had lost myself through time. For a brief moment, I felt naked through isolation.
A bird soared overhead, diving headfirst into the grey clouds before me. I watched it fly quickly, full of grace, beauty and power. It disappeared into the clouds, but it resonated within me. Those three things...courage, beauty and determination. These three things had been lost to me, through fear and weakness.
I walked towards the rickety truck, now rusted and ugly. I kicked the tires to my satisfaction, double-checked the engine and sat back inside. Mildew greeted me, with his siblings dust and spiders. I greeted them all with a turn of the key and heard the engine kick over.
Revving her up now and looking ahead, I felt sweat prick my fingertips. Was I ready? Would I ever be?
I'd never know. So I drove on ahead.
On this road, this road in the middle of open nowhere, I got out and stretched my legs for the first time in two years. I looked back; all I saw was blue skies. I looked ahead. A bad storm looming.
What could I do? I simply stood there, transfixed on that terrible sky over those jagged peaks. Lighting a cigarette, I wondered how to make it through.
I looked at the truck. I looked at my goods. Taking stock of what I had, I knew that I had the ability and the tools to make it through. That no matter how bad it looked, it wouldn't be as bad as my mind was making it out to be.
...but dammit, it was safe here. It was alright here. Why shouldn't I stay?
Camping out for weeks, looking backwards all this time. The blue skies behind shifted hues, became grayer and more distant. Somehow they lost their shine, and the road behind me became nothing more than just a fleeting memory on the horizon. After a while, I forgot what was back there.
And still. Camped out here. Weeks stretched into months, and finally a year. Seasons passed...snow, sleet, warmth, spring, sun.
I woke up and found myself with a beard. How long had I been here? I could remember nothing from my past, could see nothing but the storms in the distance. I had lost myself through time. For a brief moment, I felt naked through isolation.
A bird soared overhead, diving headfirst into the grey clouds before me. I watched it fly quickly, full of grace, beauty and power. It disappeared into the clouds, but it resonated within me. Those three things...courage, beauty and determination. These three things had been lost to me, through fear and weakness.
I walked towards the rickety truck, now rusted and ugly. I kicked the tires to my satisfaction, double-checked the engine and sat back inside. Mildew greeted me, with his siblings dust and spiders. I greeted them all with a turn of the key and heard the engine kick over.
Revving her up now and looking ahead, I felt sweat prick my fingertips. Was I ready? Would I ever be?
I'd never know. So I drove on ahead.
VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
Work out a bit more? From the few SBs I've met in person that doesn't really seem to be the point.
i love this journal. nice description of life as it is, i think!