vaugelychilly

I'm going to call this particular journal entry 'waffledom', not because of any particular love (or inclusion) of tasty breakfast treats originating in a certain flat boring european country. Oh no.
No it's called that because I don't have a single unifying thread of thought for this or anything I want to say in it.

Hmmm. Things have gotten so utterly tedious around here that if talking to friends the only news I can think of is from people I know from the Al-Gore-Net-a-Tron. Now that's slightly sad and patethic in all honesty.
So in order to spice up things around here I've randomly set fire to several household objects throughout this neighbourhood. The local residents have 623 seconds to extinguish them or a trap door opens and a horny in-heat Godzilla is unleashed with nothing but a fistful of prophylactics and a vat of self-heating rasberry flavoured lubricant.
Pray he eats you and doesn't try to hump you first.

I do, however, expect the giant lizard to be restrained eventually...probably when he's done, rolls over and falls asleep...(he's an old school alpha male, what can I say? The chicks still dig him though) so I expect my next entry to be from prison. Let's hope I won't be needing any of the left over condoms from the big guys rampage. Single cell please warden!

Anyway, before my inevitable incarceration for megacide (and violation of statute 143.g, importation of large quantities of personal lubricant without customs declaration or certification) I thought I'd bang together something for you folks to scan over while trying not to be distracted by boobs at either end of the page.

So far it's living up to its promised randomness.

Am in the middle of my two days off a week from work, I couldn't call it a weekend really because it's always...always any other day than the actual weekend.
Went out for a while last night but it was pretty..ok, completely, tedious. Aside from one brief moment of seeing three very nice looking girls for 18.43 seconds as they left the pub we were entering, there was nothing of any interest happening at all.
For whatever reason the majority of people out were male. Half of which were very camp guys, who you would have assumed would have been in heaven. But no, these weren't regular gay guys. Nope, they were those terrified-of-men-latch-onto-female-friends kinda people. Camp as a row of pink tents in a outdoor sports store, they were just as at home as the pathethic single terrified straight men were.
At one stage I went to the toilet and heard a female voice in the mens toilets as I approched. I opened the door (to the public bathroom, urinals and cubicles etc) when the door was slammed right back at me to the lilting tune of "someones in here" said in a very lispy gay...but annoyed...voice. Before having my forehead introduced to the metal plate bearing "Gentlemen" that was screwed to the door, I caught a glimpse of a girl in there and what appeared to be a scarf being worn indoors. Some nob in having a "girly chat", but in the mens toilet. A novel place perhaps.
I competely lost my temper and threw the door back in to the reply "Im sure there is, it's a fucking public toilet". The two quickly vacated it, mainly because I walked straight over to the unrinal and was relieving myself no matter who was present.

Ended up going to a usual haunt of a place, the DJ was new. Had never seen her before. This was a monumental event as this place never exposed it's denizens to anything even remotely unfamiliar. She rocked it has to be said, even played Muse.
The place was more of the same however, apart from having a slightly younger crowd which was even more disconcerting. After most other places shut, it got livlier...but to my dismay it was some sort of giant couples night out senario. You know when people go on a double date? Well imagine replacing the word "double" with "fuckload".
Multiply it by eleventy billion, and you have the number of couples about right.

It was downright scary.
Any completely and utterly depressing.

So me and my remaining friend (the rest having wandered off, not to been seen since) exited stage right. At least I had no hangover today, didn't drink much.

Spent my day pretty much in bed. Probably the very last pleasure in my life my bed. Soft warm covers and quiet. It's so hard to get any peace and quiet in my life at the moment. Work is nothing but constant noise or talking. Home is even worse sometimes. I'm currently even sharing a room..so no privacy either.
But today, everyone was gone. I slept soundly for the first time in a week and dreamt weird dreams about talking cheese and personal rocket launchers.
Alas there was no-one to share this with, but that's par for the course these days and you don't miss what you've not had (for a while,well eons really).

The other day I was chatting to my brother and some friends of his, the girls he knows really are notorious for not being able to cook anything. So this day I happened upon a converstaion where one of them had just promised to cook for everyone to show how good she was. One of the guys said "Just remember, if you're cooking meat, I like mine rare".
She looked confused for a moment and then replied "What?...You mean like....Ostrich?"
I swear I couldn't see for the tears of laughter for neigh on five minutes.


Uh oh, they didn't put them out in time. The trapdoor just opened...this is going to be interesting.

*Away* Reason: "Watching real life Godzilla porn"

<3