I hate my job.
I got told by my co-workers today that I'm pretty scary when I stop bothering to hide my stress and anger. I've reached the point at my job, where I've stopped pretending I'm cool with everything. My inner feelings are very apparent on my face. I just couldn't give a flying fuck anymore. I'd never hurt a hair on anyone, but apparently my 'flares of aura' scream cold blooded murder.
I am just this side of being a nihilist sometimes. This world. The good die young and the wicked prosper. That makes me angry and want to break some heads. Rip some selfish exploitationist guts out and dedicate their still-beating hearts to Kali. Animals all of them, their niggling little fears and biological drives. Their ape-spawned lusts for territory, shit-flinging and breeding rights twisted to supposedly fulfilling possessions of stock portfolios, fixed economies, gated communities, luxury European cars, credit cards and hig class ecorts and mistresses. Monkeys with delusions of grandeur. Lemurs of arbitrary sophistication. Marmosets pissing on themselves with joy at acquiring a new Gucci belt. Simian degenerates all of them!
Rant over.
I got told by my co-workers today that I'm pretty scary when I stop bothering to hide my stress and anger. I've reached the point at my job, where I've stopped pretending I'm cool with everything. My inner feelings are very apparent on my face. I just couldn't give a flying fuck anymore. I'd never hurt a hair on anyone, but apparently my 'flares of aura' scream cold blooded murder.
I am just this side of being a nihilist sometimes. This world. The good die young and the wicked prosper. That makes me angry and want to break some heads. Rip some selfish exploitationist guts out and dedicate their still-beating hearts to Kali. Animals all of them, their niggling little fears and biological drives. Their ape-spawned lusts for territory, shit-flinging and breeding rights twisted to supposedly fulfilling possessions of stock portfolios, fixed economies, gated communities, luxury European cars, credit cards and hig class ecorts and mistresses. Monkeys with delusions of grandeur. Lemurs of arbitrary sophistication. Marmosets pissing on themselves with joy at acquiring a new Gucci belt. Simian degenerates all of them!
Rant over.
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Give all your hurt, all your anger, all your rage to Kali. She thrives on it!! She'll gobble it up and transform it into something positive. Trust me, I've seen it work in my own life. I do feel that She may be in the process of letting me go, as far as a teacher/student relationship is concerned; I'm feeling the need lately for a more balanced Goddess aspect in my life. We'll see how that goes.
Yeah, the concept of karma as "payback" really does nothing for me. Karma is simply the energy that one builds up throughout one's lifetime, for good or ill. If you create negative energy, sooner or later it's going to come back on you. So those fat cats are going to get what's coming to them, have no fear; either on this plane or the next! Hang in there, my friend.