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vastad

United Kingdom

Member Since 2002

Followers 23 Following 14

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Friday May 02, 2003

May 2, 2003
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everything is better today. Linda and me met up. She gives really good hugs. smile

yeah...hmm...that post 2 posts ago is what happens when I let my Scorpio Moon have free rein. Although I think it's ridiculous to credit a bunch of stars for my emotional turmoil, it is a convenient way for me to get a concept across. Basically where it concerns things that really do matter to me, if it turns out bad, I feel it right to the core, no defenses whatsoever. I go kind of crazy. Logical thought takes about a single revolution of the Earth about the Sun to normalise. For example today, with some help from Lovecat's great 'lets come back down to solid ground' advice, I rethought the whole event over and realised what huge assumptions I made. I'm not even sure if it was Robert anymore, but her friend Christine with whom she has a deep relationship with, though it's never been made official. I felt very silly, but I know it's me.

When we met up again Linda was ' I told you, you need to get used to me' and I said ' You need to get used to ME!'. LOL. We laughed.

So now she would like an opportunity to spend a little time just me and her tomorrow. Saturday I turn 26 by the way. So Happy Birthday me! biggrin

In reply to Lovecat, I am being myself yes. I don't know what else to be and that's the thing. I'm actually being more open with what I am feeling at any time than before. Some of the things she's said and some vibe I get from her makes me desire to be braver with my inner thoughts and feelings around her. To be naked. I don't know. It's something I want to work through and I think....I think she can really help me with some of my flaws....or blocks...or whatever.

It's sort of connected to an acquaintance I made at the witch coven. Jenny was her name. She told me about some art projects she was involved in. She told me about how her and 2 other girls did a performance art thing in Nordiska Kompangiet (essentially a Nordstroms for rich people for all you North-West folks) where she was wearing nothing but paint. Then the performance continued at an arty-farty snobby dinner party cum art show. Her and some girls had their 'evening wear' painted on. She talked about how there is a kind of liberation after being naked in the body, that you realise it's being 'naked' in your mind and heart that is the true self-limiting modesty. erm....man, I hope that makes sense. I got what she meant...I think...
Plus the what all the spectators eyes revealed. There was wonder, disgust, interest and more often than the expected jealousy. Jealousy of her courage, her liberation as well as her beauty. I have the same thing when I see musicians 'zone out' when they play. I envy being able to be one with something. I have had it ith dancing.
VIEW 14 of 14 COMMENTS
inkvisitor:
happy birthday biggrin
May 3, 2003
monkeypox:
it has been a very long time - im sorry. ive been really busy and not had the time to enter the world of sg very often. i think this week was the first time ive even seen any of my old friends.

things are going well with me - still looking for that ever elusive abandoned suitcase full of money, wich promises to make my life better. if you have any ideas where it might be, feel free to clue me in!
May 3, 2003

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