Hi, it is the copper haired one again. 
Um...not much to add. Struggling with MA113: Logic and Discrete Mathematics homework I actually got set to do over the holiday and hand in the first day back at school.
Before I continue, anybody here a Maths Wiz? Especially in Logic?
Worth a try...
****
Had a disturbing dream a couple nights ago. I haven't been sleeping well and my appetite's kaput. I eat out of habit rather than true appetite.
ANyway, the dream had me on a travellator in Changi International Airport. This is the airport in Singapore. I look over to my left side, and in it's own space on red airport carpeting is a strange scrubbed aluminum machine that looks like it belongs in a bread factory. It has two flour-covered conveyor belts on it, lumbering away, low guards on either side and feeding things into a open hole in a metal cabinet. On the other end of this cabinet is the kind of diagonally directed slot that one can find on those automatic loaf slicers in some bakeries where the bread comes out in neat equal slices.
I see a middle-aged man in collared shirt and pale blue jeans paying attention to a boy of 4 years old, playing at the end of the bakery machine opposite the business end. He seems to not notice a baby, HIS baby, about 6 to 8 months old ON the conveyor belt towards me, bumping and hopping against a shallow ledge just above the input to the cabinet. The baby is happily chewing and playing with something in his hands, utterly undisturbed by the bumping against the edge.
At this point I know full well that if I start running now, I can save that baby....but I don't. Sure enough just as the father turns to find his baby, along comes the bump that topples the baby into the cabinet. His face turns white and the baby rolls in and there begins the most horrendous baby scream, as well as sounds of bone being ground to gristle, and murderous machinery. The baby somehow screams all through the loaf-slicing process. The father runs around to where the bread loaves are exited and the screaming stops with wet meaty abruption. What he sees pushes his gag reflex to it's limit, a sort of stunned horror. I cannot see from where I am but I picture neat equal cubes of human baby ready for bagging.
The father has a mobile phone up to his ear and clear as if I were listening to that phone myself, I hear the words "Is my baby dead?" from the woman on the other end.
It's at this point I wake up. I spent a half hour trying to get back into the realism of that dream so I could change my actions, but it just wasn't as believable.
I am bothered by my fatalism, my inertia to act. Even if it was just a dream...when I knew I could have done something, I did nothing.
***
I picked up a copy of 'The Big Book of Conspiracies'. Out of print in the States, but a comic book store here in Singapore still has stock for 1/4 of the price offered for it in Amazon.com.
Reading through the discrepancies in the JFK, RFK and MLK murders made me feel sick inside.
I kept imagining sending demons and devils and cruel extended deaths to the men who did this. I wallowed and bathed in dark, righteous fury. If only, if only, if only I knew the whole truth and could bring these men to justice. ANd cruel justice it should be. Death IS too good for men like these.
Then the bedroom started attracting unattractive vapors and spirits and I knew I had to calm down and put a lid on it.
I cannot call out to a higher being or a God. Manicheanism, Gnosticism and other readings have made their impact and I trust only the impartial and those powers that reside within just me. So I imagined something that had no agenda, but to me represented safety, protection, light, and warmth. I imagined a star falling out of the sky and sitting just under my heart. I tried other colors, but in my mind's eye, it preferred a pastel jade. Jade flames licked my flesh in a healing warmth I felt in my mind and in my body. Everything burned green. Green seemed appropriate as I associate it with growing things and healing. Sure enough the plant kingdom responded and out of my body, each major body part or organ became suffused with roots and grew into different kinds of foliage.
Out of my heart, thick brushy roots grew through my heart tissue and up sprouted a type of fan-palm. From my penis a particular kind of mangrove tree with a soft olive bark and many shoots. From my toes and fingers, bright red and deep green banana-leaf type plants sprouted. As long as I held that vision in my mind, I felt grounded and free of ill-feeling.
Has anybody else experienced something similar?
Um...not much to add. Struggling with MA113: Logic and Discrete Mathematics homework I actually got set to do over the holiday and hand in the first day back at school.
Before I continue, anybody here a Maths Wiz? Especially in Logic?
Worth a try...
****
Had a disturbing dream a couple nights ago. I haven't been sleeping well and my appetite's kaput. I eat out of habit rather than true appetite.
ANyway, the dream had me on a travellator in Changi International Airport. This is the airport in Singapore. I look over to my left side, and in it's own space on red airport carpeting is a strange scrubbed aluminum machine that looks like it belongs in a bread factory. It has two flour-covered conveyor belts on it, lumbering away, low guards on either side and feeding things into a open hole in a metal cabinet. On the other end of this cabinet is the kind of diagonally directed slot that one can find on those automatic loaf slicers in some bakeries where the bread comes out in neat equal slices.
I see a middle-aged man in collared shirt and pale blue jeans paying attention to a boy of 4 years old, playing at the end of the bakery machine opposite the business end. He seems to not notice a baby, HIS baby, about 6 to 8 months old ON the conveyor belt towards me, bumping and hopping against a shallow ledge just above the input to the cabinet. The baby is happily chewing and playing with something in his hands, utterly undisturbed by the bumping against the edge.
At this point I know full well that if I start running now, I can save that baby....but I don't. Sure enough just as the father turns to find his baby, along comes the bump that topples the baby into the cabinet. His face turns white and the baby rolls in and there begins the most horrendous baby scream, as well as sounds of bone being ground to gristle, and murderous machinery. The baby somehow screams all through the loaf-slicing process. The father runs around to where the bread loaves are exited and the screaming stops with wet meaty abruption. What he sees pushes his gag reflex to it's limit, a sort of stunned horror. I cannot see from where I am but I picture neat equal cubes of human baby ready for bagging.
The father has a mobile phone up to his ear and clear as if I were listening to that phone myself, I hear the words "Is my baby dead?" from the woman on the other end.
It's at this point I wake up. I spent a half hour trying to get back into the realism of that dream so I could change my actions, but it just wasn't as believable.
I am bothered by my fatalism, my inertia to act. Even if it was just a dream...when I knew I could have done something, I did nothing.
***
I picked up a copy of 'The Big Book of Conspiracies'. Out of print in the States, but a comic book store here in Singapore still has stock for 1/4 of the price offered for it in Amazon.com.
Reading through the discrepancies in the JFK, RFK and MLK murders made me feel sick inside.
I kept imagining sending demons and devils and cruel extended deaths to the men who did this. I wallowed and bathed in dark, righteous fury. If only, if only, if only I knew the whole truth and could bring these men to justice. ANd cruel justice it should be. Death IS too good for men like these.
Then the bedroom started attracting unattractive vapors and spirits and I knew I had to calm down and put a lid on it.
I cannot call out to a higher being or a God. Manicheanism, Gnosticism and other readings have made their impact and I trust only the impartial and those powers that reside within just me. So I imagined something that had no agenda, but to me represented safety, protection, light, and warmth. I imagined a star falling out of the sky and sitting just under my heart. I tried other colors, but in my mind's eye, it preferred a pastel jade. Jade flames licked my flesh in a healing warmth I felt in my mind and in my body. Everything burned green. Green seemed appropriate as I associate it with growing things and healing. Sure enough the plant kingdom responded and out of my body, each major body part or organ became suffused with roots and grew into different kinds of foliage.
Out of my heart, thick brushy roots grew through my heart tissue and up sprouted a type of fan-palm. From my penis a particular kind of mangrove tree with a soft olive bark and many shoots. From my toes and fingers, bright red and deep green banana-leaf type plants sprouted. As long as I held that vision in my mind, I felt grounded and free of ill-feeling.
Has anybody else experienced something similar?
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
Second, you put down you dislike SG, why?
Third, I have an idea about what your dream may mean but I would like you to expressly ask me to tell you because I find it odd to give judgement on others lives like that without express permission. It sounds odd but I work like that. Happy New Year!