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ok, i got it.
cureelise:
hey sweetness how r things going for u? I've been worried about you lately. things are looking a little better for me. have a interview for a nanny position tomorrow with a jewish family that keeps kosher. if i land this job it should be pretty interesting and a learning experience. I miss talking with u . chat me up on aim sometime or give me a call kiss kiss kiss kiss

[Edited on Feb 06, 2005 11:58AM]
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I was taken by one of those dreams last night.
The sort that are too real... where everything that happens, however absurd.. feels so intensely...
Those dreams shake me.. when I am awake afterward I am lost in the wake of things that I felt or saw.
In my dream, I knew something that I could never admit to myself by day... because it's a...
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germ13:
I felt like that a couple of years ago when I was in the throwes of depression. Don't feel to bad I know what you're going through.
cureelise:
i have the worst cold ever, need someone to take care of me and give me some lovin frown
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Mark Farina spins this Saturday.
I'm sure to find my way there.
Also, there is a rave later that same night. If anyone wants the info.. just post or IM or email me.
I so rarely leave my home anymore... it will be so nice to get out. Sometimes I wish that my old friends still spoke to me.. I would have some people to...
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keila:
hi, i have no idea what kind of schedule you keep or where you are in Detroit but a bunch of us sg detroiter's head to luna on tue nights if you're lookin for something to do durring the week smile
keila:
I know her but not really well, just through a couple events and seeing her at work a few times. I havn't accually hung out with her though.
Well the last couple weeks we've been up there every tue pretty much.......I'm headed to chicago this weekend but if you keep an eye on my journal you'll know if we're gonna be going. Most likely we will though biggrin
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It has been a long time since Ive posted.

Hell, It's been so long since I've gotten onto my computer that I had 413 emails waiting. Im sorry if any of you reading this have tried to reach me.
I have no excuses for my behavior anymore.
I'm depressed. Not 'sad' depressed, really... but that other depression... the sort where you ought not leave bed...
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cureelise:
hey sweetie it's good hearing from u . things are getting better on my end , now to make them better on your end. If u need someone to talk to IM me or give me a call . You know that I'll always be there for u no matter what time of the day or night it is. I'll give u a call later on , u sound like u might be in need of a call from the one and only Beetle.
(Something take my hand, I want out) * grabs your hand and invites u into my own little world that only few have ever been in*
germ13:
You sound like you need someone to lean on. I'm here and you can IM me or Cureelise anytime you're feeling low and need a pick me up. You're still recovering and this is just part of it, you know you won't feel like this forever.
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I will never be strong enough
I will never be good enough
I was never conceived in love
I will not rise above
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niamh:
Dreadlocks and Cyber Dog clothing......veeeery nice.
cureelise:
call me sweetie and thanks for being worried about me . nice to know that someone gives a shit and cares kiss

[Edited on Jan 08, 2005 12:52AM]
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Jesus Christ... I just can't live in your fucked up sober little world.
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cureelise:
It's a bitch love , told u what to do to help u get through it. besides I would rather be stoned with u then sliding down the wall in my own little dream world with track marks on my arm
that kinda doesn't sound that supportive , but if u need something to ease the pain and cravings I'd rather u smoke a bowl then go out and find a hit. kiss it helped me through my recovery and my friends liked me alot better . Listening to Nancy Boy seems to help me when I'm craving . I guess it has to do with it being one of my friends fav songs who ended up leaving this world with a needle stuck in his arm while he was listening to it. It was kinda our song
cureelise:
I hope u r doing ok sweetie . u have been on my mind lately . kiss
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So, depression sinks in. I suppose it's part of so-called recovery. Im not going to go on about how I feel... but this whole 'process' is torture after torture.
I bought destruction, 20$ at a time.

Ive been honored, it seems. Playfully "claimed" by someone. Adorable....
I will be changing out some of the pics over the next week. Soon enough I will republish my...
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lunna:
I hear ya but it will be ok sweetie!

kiss
hardcoregirl:
Eh, I still deal with depression and I quit using recreational drugs 4 years ago...good luck to you.

I was married to the worst addict I've ever known and I saved his life so many times its ridiculous. I don't know if the 12 step programs are really helpful...I just hope you have enough self love to not touch that shit again...

All I do know is that you can't hang out with your old using buddies or go to any places that make it easy to revert into old behaviors. So many addicts I know think they can hang out with using buddies...and then they find they weren't really friends, just junkies that had one thing in common.

If I knew you and lived close by I'd hang out with you and try to keep you on the right path...
biggrin

Glad you are still with us though,..
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"Its hard to dance with the devil on your back...."


I woke today from a broken sleep... i had a fever over the night.
When I woke, I had suffered some nightmares, which had me upset... thinking, remebering... moving in circles and further into sadness...
...then I started, by instinct, to thnk of cutting...
I had to think myself away from it. God...
My life...
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germ13:
Dude you'll be fine, you can survive. Cureelise will give you a call later to see how you're doing.
cureelise:
TAKAKOSHIMIZU XSOR1AX

[Edited on Nov 24, 2004 8:04PM]
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FyI... my car window was smashed out by some fuckhead tonight. I think they took my cell phone, I cant find it.


My home line is 3138745364... good luck reaching me

try to, and ill call back.
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cataract:
is that also how it feels to be home?

Paying a few bucks a month for this site isn't that bad. Pretty girls, and access to your photos. wink

Your home looks really comfy. I can't imagine it would be all that horrible.

Aren't there some places that replace glass and also give you some strange amount of free dinners at places you don't really want to eat?
cureelise:
I hope u feel better soon love. if u need anything call . kiss
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It is te best you could ever have.
There are no more mountains.
fullfilling dreams....
...what is left for my life now?
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cureelise:
u know how to hold my interest and that is a good thing since so many people seem to only bore me . but when it comes to u i find it very intriguing and want to know more . kiss
cataract:
I'm glad that you made it out alive.

There is a lot left.

There is still beauty in everything. but I think you know that.

kiss