I haven't written since mid june.
I don't really know that I have had too much to say, not anything that anyone would really like to read.
I wonder how you are. It has been forever since we have even spoken.
You are so damn far away now... It is so surreal for me.
Try to understand; the monster that I was... the way I...
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I don't really know that I have had too much to say, not anything that anyone would really like to read.
I wonder how you are. It has been forever since we have even spoken.
You are so damn far away now... It is so surreal for me.
Try to understand; the monster that I was... the way I...
Read More
cureelise:
how's u sweetness . the last time we chatted was a very drunken call from me 
it's a shame that we didn't get to hang while I was in detroit. I'm going to make a point of it next time I'm there. things are going pretty good for me. I'm about to age another year and I'm not looking forward to this b-day. I don't want to turn 31. 
I miss u . we should chat sometime soon n catch up.
how's u sweetness . the last time we chatted was a very drunken call from me it's a shame that we didn't get to hang while I was in detroit. I'm going to make a point of it next time I'm there. things are going pretty good for me. I'm about to age another year and I'm not looking forward to this b-day. I don't want to turn 31. I miss u . we should chat sometime soon n catch up.
cureelise:
being 31 isn't as bad as I thought it would be . had a blast on my B-day - was hurtin the day after though how r things going for u sweety ?????????
how r things going for u sweety ????????? Today was my birthday.
I wanted to get together with my friends for dinner... but noone would call me back.
Even when I left messages saying that today was my birthday, and I wanted to get together.
I don't like being alone all of the time like this. It hurts.
I can't imagine being too much morew dejected than I am today.
I don't entirely...
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I wanted to get together with my friends for dinner... but noone would call me back.
Even when I left messages saying that today was my birthday, and I wanted to get together.
I don't like being alone all of the time like this. It hurts.
I can't imagine being too much morew dejected than I am today.
I don't entirely...
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VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
germ13:
Hey man I'm getting my sanity back slowly. When I get to the states I'm going to de-tox you. I intend to tie you down if I have to but I will get you clean.
cureelise:
miss u sweetie
miss u sweetieYour in my house tonight.
You might as well be a million miles away
I can hardly remember the last time someone put their arms around me and meant it.
Life just gets so cold and empty.
This is why Ive become so quiet. Words and tears are ineffectual.
You might as well be a million miles away
I can hardly remember the last time someone put their arms around me and meant it.
Life just gets so cold and empty.
This is why Ive become so quiet. Words and tears are ineffectual.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
germ13:
Hppay birthday 
nellichaos:
Happy Birthday Lovely One!
Tonight...
while you are watching your favorite television program,
or lying safe and comfortable in a bed,
or fucking some enemy or lover....
I will be screaming a fact that noone wants to know.
I will be hurting and bleeding
I will be victimizing myself.
After all, if you can, why shouldn't I?
Remember that... right at that moment.
while you are watching your favorite television program,
or lying safe and comfortable in a bed,
or fucking some enemy or lover....
I will be screaming a fact that noone wants to know.
I will be hurting and bleeding
I will be victimizing myself.
After all, if you can, why shouldn't I?
Remember that... right at that moment.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
germ13:
Man I wish I knew how I could help. I've had a personal hell for just over a week now and I don't know what to do, I feel like I'm getting worse and worse. I just hope you're safe.
cureelise:
hey sweetness just wanted to stop by and see what's new with u . i'm doing good. just did 60 mins on the treadmill. 3.01 miles was only planning on doing 1.5 now i'm off to have a nice huge salad then rest .
now i'm off to have a nice huge salad then rest . You dont know how lonely I always am.
Your company tonight was great. I had forgotten how sweet you are.
Never to be forgotten again.
It was cute, the evening.
Your company tonight was great. I had forgotten how sweet you are.
Never to be forgotten again.
It was cute, the evening.
cureelise:
awww I u too sweety. how are u , haven't talked to u in ages. I miss having u get my head straight when I'm all confuzled
I miss having u get my head straight when I'm all confuzled Tonight, I am fristrated.
I spent a lot of my day thinking, and re-thinking... almost in circles.
Today was more positive than a lot fo them are for me.
Ive been working my ass off at A LOT of my troubles, so to speak.
I am getting somewhere.
I feel hopeful, like I might just beat 'this'.
I might get somewhere, all on my very...
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I spent a lot of my day thinking, and re-thinking... almost in circles.
Today was more positive than a lot fo them are for me.
Ive been working my ass off at A LOT of my troubles, so to speak.
I am getting somewhere.
I feel hopeful, like I might just beat 'this'.
I might get somewhere, all on my very...
Read More
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
cureelise:
Looks like you are doing better sweetie, keeping busy is the key. Helps get your mind on other things other then all the crap that has been going on.
cureelise:
how's things going sweetie. I got myself a membership to the gym that my folks go to. been working out like crazy. I have a goal in mind and I'm wanting to reach it.
how's things going sweetie. I got myself a membership to the gym that my folks go to. been working out like crazy. I have a goal in mind and I'm wanting to reach it. I hurt myself last night, with this really painful dream.
You wont understand, so I wont relate it.
I feel so empty.
Ive been hurting for three years, Ive been a total asshole equally as long.
It's all related to itself.
Ive burned up all my friendships. I haven't anywhere to turn, I think I almost chose it to be this way.
I wouldn't tolerate...
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You wont understand, so I wont relate it.
I feel so empty.
Ive been hurting for three years, Ive been a total asshole equally as long.
It's all related to itself.
Ive burned up all my friendships. I haven't anywhere to turn, I think I almost chose it to be this way.
I wouldn't tolerate...
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I know that I don't write often anymore.
I cannot put into writing the things that I am right now. It would not work.
I have so much happening... perhaps tommorow I will try to get in into some coherent form and post it all.
Right now Im hurting.. I hurt and I haven't anyone to complain to or cry with or lie to about...
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I cannot put into writing the things that I am right now. It would not work.
I have so much happening... perhaps tommorow I will try to get in into some coherent form and post it all.
Right now Im hurting.. I hurt and I haven't anyone to complain to or cry with or lie to about...
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People always walk away from me.. always.
And I always let myself hurt.. and get bitter...
I let it stain me, and I let it rise out of proportion.
Ive never been able to understand how people get so attached, and throw around words like "need" and "want" and "love".
Then, it is so easy for you to just turn your back or turn off...
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And I always let myself hurt.. and get bitter...
I let it stain me, and I let it rise out of proportion.
Ive never been able to understand how people get so attached, and throw around words like "need" and "want" and "love".
Then, it is so easy for you to just turn your back or turn off...
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cureelise:
Inside...
The dark is fading away
I don't want to be alone anymore
Inside...
The light of dawn is here once more
The light...
Darkness is slipping away
Of dawn...
I don't want to be alone
Is here...
Won't you stay?
Not a word passed your lips
Just a golden kiss
As I whispered silently
"Help me through this"
The dark is fading away
I don't want to be alone anymore
Inside...
The light of dawn is here once more
The light...
Darkness is slipping away
Of dawn...
I don't want to be alone
Is here...
Won't you stay?
Not a word passed your lips
Just a golden kiss
As I whispered silently
"Help me through this"
kira:
i don't really know what to say about this other than you have always been in my thoughts and prayers...
It's been quite awhile since Ive bothered writing in this.
It just hasn't felt necessary. It's not like what I write is read or anything.
I wanted to see how you were.
It was longing or sadness or morbid curiosity, i guess.
I am such a weak boy, I deserve what I get.
So, I reached out in to empty space, hoping to find you....
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It just hasn't felt necessary. It's not like what I write is read or anything.
I wanted to see how you were.
It was longing or sadness or morbid curiosity, i guess.
I am such a weak boy, I deserve what I get.
So, I reached out in to empty space, hoping to find you....
Read More